Saturday, October 17, 2009

Results from Card #3

Match #1 - Boomerang vs Subby Phillips

Boomerang was being punished for yet another week. This week his opponent was the master of submissions, Subby Phillips.

Subby was his usual self, showing off his submission prowess all through the match. Boomerang got tired of it very quickly however and began locking in his own submissions in the form of Boston Crabs, Sharpshooters and Figure Fours. Subby was able to get out of every single one but they were visibly wearing him down.

Around the 15 minute mark, Subby locked in the GOOT (Get out of this. I'm calling it the GOOT from now on). Boomerang was able to worm his way out of it and the match continued.

More submissions, more reversals. Finally Boomerang locked in the Triangle Scissors. Subby must have been too worn out to counter. Without any way to break the hold at the ropes, his only choice was to tap, giving Boomerang yet another win.

Boomerang yelled at the ringside staff for a microphone. This is what he said...

"Oi Mr. Douchebag, that's twice in a row you've put me in the opening match and that's twice i've destroyed your lower card. The next time this happens, i'm gonna injure somebody. All i want is my rematch with Fatty Gordon. The rest, well that's in your hands."

Boomerang threw the mic at Subby and returned to the back.

Winner: Boomerang via Triangle Scissors - 18 min 11 sec

Match #2 - The Pretty Boys vs Los Turnipos

Tonight was the debut of Los Turnipos. Los Bombola and El Turnipo have teamed before but have decided to register an official tag team with Ultra Wrestle, and their first match was against Yob and Rick.

If anything, this match was a showcase of El Turnipos talent. Most of the match he was the legal man voluntarily.

The match started slow with some quick tags, and both sides feeling out the competition. Things got interesting when Turnipo and Yob were fighting, and Rick jumped in for a cheapshot. After a whip into the turnbuckle, Turnipo set Rick up for a Super Hurricanrana. As he jumped up to execute it, Rick grabbed his shoulders and slammed him to the mat. Yob quickly capatilized with a pin but only got a 2 count.

More back and forth action. Rick tagged in Yob and surprisingly, Yob ignored Turnipo, slid under the ropes and pulled Bombola off the apron, attacking him before sliding in reversing Turnipo's attack and pining. Bombola dived in the ring, breaking the count at 2.

Yob tagged in Rick. More moves being traded off before Turnipo hit Rick with the Osaka Stunner (his finishing move)! Turnipo jumped to the top rope and performed a spectacular 450 senton splash. Not done yet, he picked Rick up and hit him with a standing Hurricanrana into a pin. Yob had run in the ring during the senton so easily broke up the pin when it happened. Yob bulldogged Turnipo into the mat before returning to his corner. Rick gets up and tried to pick up Turnipo. Reversal into a pin, sadly now that Rick had regained his bearings, only a 2 count.

Around the half hour mark, fighting broke out on the outside. Rick levelled Bombola before he and Yob worked Turnipo over with a couple of steel chair shots.

Rick continued the assault of Turnipo in the ring with a Bridging German Suplex Pin. a 2.9 count. Angrily he hit Turnipo with a Throwing German Suplex which almost knocked the poor kid out.

After 10 more minutes of attack and being unable to pin Turnipo, the bell rang. The 45 minutes allowed for this tag match was over. Yob and Rick, being pissed off double teamed Turnipo with a pick up Diamond Cutter. Bombola ran in to help his partner and got the same for his trouble.

Yob and Rick were about to leave when Mr. D walked out with a mic.

"Oh no, with a match like that, we're not leaving it there. We need a winner!"

Yob and Rick started to sneer thinking that the match would be continued.

"Next week you two will compete in the main event, and like every main event, there will be no time limit. Also, if either of you lay a hand on each other between the next show, i will fine you $5000"

The crowd cheered as Mr D. left. Yob and Rick stormed off to the back as Bombola and Turnipo recovered.

Winner: Time Out - 45 mins

Match #3 - Bare Bear vs Lord Xbox

A quick brutal match.

Xbox dominated most of the fight with Bear getting some nasty shots in, but never being able to gain the upper hand.

One really nice spot was Xbox attacking Bear with a striking combo before climbing the turnbuckle and pulling off a beautiful flying elbow. Randy Savage would be proud.

After more heavy hits and suplexes, Xbox hit the 3 Red Rings, and Bear wasn't moving. Senior Official Mustafa checked Bear. He was unconscious. Xbox was declared the winner. As he walked to the back, a medical team came out and put Bear on a stretcher. More news later in the week as we learn of his condition.

Winner: Lord Xbox via KO - 8 min 13 sec

Match #4 - Booty Kall vs TNT

After being shut out of the main event picture last show thanks to Booty Kall, TNT went to Mr. D and signed a singles match, hoping to get the upper hand and some modicum of revenge.

Booty and TNT have similar fighting styles and technical background so it should come as no surprise that the match was full of reversals, matwork, pinfalls, and hard hitting slams.

The hard hits took a step up around the 5 minute mark when TNT slammed Booty into the mat with a Super Reverse Hurricanrana. Only got a 1 count however.

Both wrestlers use the Flying Knee as a signature move. At one point in the match, after both running into the ropes, they both executed Flying Knees, missing each other. The crowd applauded.

At around 10 minutes, Booty throws TNT out of the ring, following it up with a Throwing German Suplex on the wood! TNT responds with a reverse DDT followed by an Enziguri.

After many slams and near falls Booty Kall hit the BK Bomb for the 3 count. Booty helped TNT to his feet afterwards, and extended his hand in friendship. TNT looked hesitant but shook it, before raising Booty's hand in victory. The two exited to the back.

Winner: Booty Kall via BK Bomb - 14 min 32 sec

Match #5 - Parachute McGilacuddy vs Mitchel - Landmine Deathmatch

Yet another in the parade of Reginald's opponents to destroy Mitchell. Parachute McGilacuddy and Mitchel have fought before and this time proved to be no less brutal. Due to the exploding barbed wire around ringside, Reginald walked out with Parachute, but stayed at the entrance, surveying the match.

A lot of punches and chops being traded until Parachute hit Mitchel with the RRIC (Run Run it's Chavo). Not content to leave it there, he hit Mitchel with another one, but couldn't get even a 1 count.

Mitchel tried using his Sickle attack on Parachute, but the helmet was adequate protection.

Parachute pulled off the Reverse Gory Bomb and pinned for 2.

About 10 minutes in, Mitchell was busted open by a florescent tube to the face.

A couple more pinfall attempts from Parachute to no avail. Finally Parachute locked on a Flying X Arm Hold out of nowhere. Mitchell looked to be trying to squirm under the ropes to the outside to get out of the hold. Reginald ran down to the ring, picked up a barbed wire bat laying on the outside of the ring and clocked Mitchell right in the head. Mitchell being knocked out led the ref to raise his hand to see if it would drop. It was raised 3 times, it dropped 3 times.

Not content with Mitchel being knocked out. Reginald dived in the ring, and then with the help of Parachute, threw him outside onto the barbed wire explosives!

The two walked to the back leaving the medical team to look after Mitchell.

Winner: Parachute McGilacuddy via Flying X Arm Hold - 16 min 44 sec

Main Event - J.M. Styker vs Big Gordon - Ultra Title Match

Folks, in my opinion, this was the best wrestling match i've seen in the short life of Ultra Wrestle. Not only was it Big Gordon's first title defense after defeating Boomerang on our first show, but J.M. Stryker's first shot at the main event picture, and the vibe was that he had something not only to prove to the fans, but to Big Gordon too.

The match started with the two testing out each other. A Body Slam here, a clothesline there. Styker even pulled off the Rolly Polly. He definitely was showing off. It paid off though as only 6 minutes in he hit the Emerald Fusion 09 on Gordon. Only a 2 count. He did it again! Still a 2 count.

This is when Big Gordon started to take the match seriously... and he got mean. European uppercuts, Forearm slams, Pile Drivers. Then the cue de grace, a Powerbomb into the ringpost!
This is when Gordon started to dominate the match. After a partularly nasty slam, Gordon went up to the top rope, deliving a Foot Stomp right onto the back of Stryker, follwed by a Vertical Suplex over the ropes to the outside.

After some back and forth on the outside and then back in the ring, Stryker got some momentum back with a Shining Wizard, followed by a pin. Almost, a 2.9. Gordon countered with the Gordon Bomb. We all thought this was it. Stryker kicked out at 2.9! Stryker countered that with a Throwing German Suplex that sent Big Gordon out of the ring!

After more back and forth, Stryker whipped Gordon into the ropes, and hit him in the face with a Fireball. He set Gordon up for another Emerald Fusion 09, but Gordon slid out of it, kicked Stryker in the stomach and hit another Gordon Bomb! 1,2,3! Big Gordon retained his title.

The crowd were on their feet by the end of this, cheering what has to be one of the best wrestling matches of the year. Hopefully Styker will get another shot at the title, but with Boomerang wanting a rematch, we'll just have to wait and see. Tune in for our next show. It's probably going to be just as amazing.

Winner: Big Gordon via Gordon Bomb - 22 min 35 sec

Monday, October 12, 2009

Card #3 - Where did all the Money go?

Where did all the Money go?

Match #1
Boomerang vs Subby Phillips

Match #2
The Pretty Boys vs Los Turnipos

Match #3
Bare Bear vs Lord Xbox

Match #4
Booty Kall vs TNT

Match #5 - Exploding Deathmatch
Parachute McGilacuddy vs Mitchell

Main Event - Ultra Title Match
J.M. Stryker vs Big Gordon

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Results from Card #2

Match #1 - Boomerang vs Los Bombola

Boomerang walked down to the ring with his music and grabbed a microphone. The gist of his insulting diatribe was that Mr. D needed to come out and explain why he was fighting a lowlife at the beginning of the card. Mr D walked out and explained to Boomerang that his threats and behaviour would not be tolerated, so as long as he was making trouble, he'd be fighting in the opening match. Boomerang was heading up towards the entrance most likely to assault Mr. D when Los Bombola walked out, attacking Boomerang, throwing him into the ring and starting the match.

If Boomerang wanted to send a message to Mr. D however, this match certainly did the trick. Bombola got a couple of moves in, but basically it was nothing but domination from Boomerang. For most of the match, Boomerang tried to make Bombola sumbit with a sharpshooter, but finally after a lot of punishment and a Dingo Drop, the 3 count hit.

Winner: Boomerang via the Dingo Drop - 10 min, 35 sec

Match #2 - El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips

A valiant effort by El Turnipo but his inexperience in the ring was quite evident in this match. Subby spent most of the bout reversing Turnipo's moves, and showing off his great knowledge of submission holds. Finally it was too much for Turnipo to take and he tapped. I hope Subby is happy with himself.

Winner: Subby Phillips via Torture Cobra Twist - 15 min, 54 sec

Match #3 - The Serpent vs Mitchell

Mitchell came down to the ring first and entered. The Serpent walked down with Reginald Waters escorting him. The Serpent got in the ring and Reginald tried to follow. Mustafa prevented him from entering and locked the cage. Outraged, Reginald paced around the outside of the cage yelling at Mitchell.

The match was almost the exact opposite of Mitchell's fight with Bare Bear. Mitchell dominated The Serpent like we've never seen. His edge was most certainly given to him at the start of the match, when he revealed that he'd brought his own weapons. Using a sickle and a fork, Serpent was bleeding all over the ring in short time. From there Mitchell used a variety of hard strikes, submission moves, and attacks from the singapore cane already in the ring. After every blow, Mitchell would glare in Reginald's direction. Mitchell locked on the Fuyuki Special. After all this punishment, Serpent did not tap. In fact the move had rendered him unconscious. Mustafa lifted his arm to test, and on the 3rd drop, Mitchell was declared the winner. The cage was unlocked, and Reginald escaped into the crowd before Mitchell could get to him.

winner: Mitchel via Fuyuki Special - 16 min, 43 sec

Match #4 - Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy

This is about as even a fight as you can get between a vain fatman and a sexual deviant. Blows, throws and strikes were traded back and forth for almost 20 minutes. Plenty of two counts and plenty of kick outs. Nothing could keep either competitor down. Finally Parachute reversed a strike into the Reverse Gory Special and picked up the win.

Winner: Parachute McGilacuddy via Reverse Gory Special Bomb - 17 min, 10 sec.

Match #5 - J.M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob (Ultra Title #1 contender's match)

To quote the WWE's Good ole JR, this was one hell of a slobberknocker. For the first 5 minutes you couldn't tell what was happening, it was just a tangle and a mess of bodies wailing on each other. There were a few devastating double teams and lots of near falls, but Booty Kall was on fire. Around the 10 minute mark he eliminated both Yob and TNT with the BK Bomb, one shortly after the other. Stryker was no slouch though, and for the remainder of the match, Booty and Stryker tore up the ring in an amazing display of wrestling. The match ended when Booty whipped Stryker into the ropes. Stryker reversed the whip and when Booty came back, Stryker hit Booty in the face with a huge fireball. Booty writhing in agony on the mat, Stryker locked on the Kido clutch and Booty Kall tapped to it.

Winner: JM Stryker via Kido Clutch 15 min, 49 sec

Match #6 - The Condors vs Devastation (Tag Title Match)

These two teams have met many times in Ultra Wrestle and both have won the tag belts off the other before. It was speed vs strength as it seemed that Lion and Destructo were dominating Trebor and Amigo, but their speed and reversal ability would pay off, gaining reprive or breaking up the pin. We had a close call with a 2 count as Lion kicked out of the Tiny Drop at the last second. Also when the match spilled to the outside, Amigo hit Destructo with the Reverse Plantation (although both were not the legal men). It ended when Destructo was able to hit the You Are Out on Amigo in the center of the ring. Trebor ran in to break up the count but Lion rushed to the ring and knocked him down with a clothesline. 1,2,3, Devastation are your new tag champs!

Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 21 min, 19 sec

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Card #2 - Dawning Realization

Dawning Realisation

Match #1
Boomerang vs Los Bombola

Match #2
El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips

Match #3 - Cage Match
The Serpent (accompanied by Reginald Waters) vs Mitchell

Match #4
Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy

Match #5 - Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender's Match
J. M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob

Main Event - Ultra Tag Match
The Condors vs Devastation

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Interview - Boomerang

KR: Hi everyone! This is Kirsten Reeds here with ex Ultra Wrestle champ Boomerang. So the question on the minds of all is how you're coping with losing to Big Gordon last week?

BOOM: How am i coping? How does it feel to lose to Big Gordon? How does it feel? You jerks are all broken records! So sure of yourselves now that your hero has the title back. You think i'm out of the picture, end of story, roll credits? If you knew anything, you'd realise a movie has three acts and as i recall, there's only been two. I beat Big Gordon, Big Gordon beats me. One a piece, so i think there needs to be a decider, and if Mr. D has any balls at all, he will set this up! See, until i get my rematch, i'm going to be the biggest badass this company has seen. Everyone will know what it means to get on my bad side! And when the chairman has finally seen sense and i get my rematch, we will be departing from the standard Hollywood ending, because the hero will not be walking away into the sunset.

Believe it Big Gordon for my name is Boomerang, and I. Always. Come. Back!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Interview - Reginald Waters

BW: Hi folks, this is Buck Winhurst here with Sir Reginald Waters the third. Now Reggie... can i call you Reggie?

SRW: *sigh* I'd prefer if you didn't but i guess you can't escape the environment you were brought up in.

BW: Ok. Well Reggie, fans of Ultra Wrestle are all wanting to know what happened at Numero Uno. Let's start at the beginning. Why were you accompanying Bare Bear to the ring?

SRW: Well you see ...Buck, i only enlisted the services of my ursine companion for that evening. Ultra Wrestle has plenty of sociopaths who enjoy the carnage of the deathmatch and i shall keep enlisting their services and aiding them in any way possible until i fufill my original goal.

BW: Well i guess the next logical question would be what that goal might be.

SRW: Very astute of you indeed young Buck. My goal is the retirement of that overweight, out of shape disgrace to the sport of professional wrestling, Mitchell. That man is an abomination. He is the epitome of american decadance and entitlement. I have worked my whole life to achieve my goals in the squared circle, and i shall continue to do so. It's one of the calling cards of us British wrestlers. Look at my fellow countryman Big Gordon. He won the ultra title off that obnoxious Australian hooligan last week. Mitchell exerts no effort in the ring and yet he holds the Ultra Crazy title and consistantly wins. Well no more i say, no more.

BW: But seeing that he wins consistantly, wouldn't that show the level of talent Mitchell posesses?

SRW: Talent? Oh dear. You poor deluded fool. Every wrestling fan with half a brain knows match outcomes are predetermined, well no longer. Mitchell was supposed to win the match at Numero Uno, and i made sure he didn't, as i will continue to do so until that belt is off his waist. Mark my words young Buck, and mark them well, when i'm through with Mitchell, retirement will almost be a certainty. Ah ha ha.

BW: Well, those were some illuminating words from Sir Reginald Waters. I guess we'll see what he has in store for the Ultra Crazy champion on the next show. Until then, i'm Buck Winhurst. You folks enjoy your week.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Results from Card #1

Heya all. Wow, what a show that was. I think we've really cemented ourselves as a force in the world of professional wrestling.

Here's how things went down...

Match #1 - El Turnipo vs Los Bombola

A great bout to start off the night. These two traded high flying moves for most of the match, with things heating up with a top rope huricanrana from Turnipo. Bombola shocked the crowd with a Frog Splash as he lept half the ring to land on Turnipo, standing up and performing a standing reverse moonsault for the pin. Only a 2.9 however.

The match went on with Turnipo being dominated by Bombola. Out of desperation, Turnipo hit a standing enziguri, went for the pin, but only got a 2.9. Turnipo started putting the boot to Bombola in frustration. Bombola leaped to his feet, and launched off Turnipo for the Chocolate Rain. 1,2,3 match over.

After the pin, Los Bombola pulled Turnipo to his feet and extended his hand. Turnipo shook it, and then raised Bombola's arm in triumph before rolling out of the ring, returning to the back.

Winner: Los Bombola via Chocolate Rain - 11 min, 19 sec

Match #2 - Devastation vs. The Pretty Boys (#1 Contender's Match)

Boy was this one rough. Let's go over the spots. For most of the start of the match, Devastation was completely wailing on Rick from the Pretty Boys. Simon performed the You Are Out early, but Yob jumped in the ring to break up the count.

Simon superkicked Rick in the face, sending him over the ropes to the outside. Yob jumped in the ring and started attacking Simon as Blue Lion (BL) grabbed a chair and began attacking Rick on the outside. BL rolls Rick back into the ring, and Mustafa, the ref sent Yob back to his corner, continuing the match.

Simon consecutively pins Rick, first with a Powerbomb, and then with the You Are Out again. Yob breaks up each attempt. Simon tags out to BL. BL spits fire in Rick's face when the ref isn't looking and then proceeds to physically dissect the man for the next few minutes. Catching a lucky break, Rick gets away from Simon and makes the tag to Yob.

BL grabs Yob and hits the Antelope Gutter. Rick breaks up the count at 1. BL hits a second Antelope Gutter, picks Yob up and springboard dropkicks him to the outside. A cluster begins as all 4 wrestlers are attacking each other on the outside. BL rolls Yob and Rick into the ring, picks up a Sledgehammer and aims for Yob. Rick tries to pull BL off his partner and gets a sledgehammer in the face for his troubles. Rick rolls to the outside as Yob starts retailiating on BL. This doesn't last long however as BL hits his 3rd Antelope Gutter on Yob, only being able to get a 2 count before Yob kicks out. Yob flips up and delivers a spinning heel kick to BL's face, going for the pin and getting a 2 count.

BL manages to reach Simon to tag. Simon blocks Yob's attacks, hits the You Are Out, and before Rick can break up the pin, gets the 3 count.

Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 24 min, 28 sec

Match #3 - J. M. Stryker vs Parachute McGilacuddy

In this match we got to see the resiliance of Stryker and the nastiness of Cuddy. Like most matches, this started with some back and forth, and a couple power moves. Things took a turn for the worse when the cocky Stryker decided to pull off what i call the 'Stryker Rolly Polly', humiliating Cuddy by rolling back and forth over him. Styker picked Cuddy up but was met with a series of open hand palm strikes to the face, before being thrown outside the ring by.

Cuddy picks up a florescent tube and cracks Stryker over the head with it. From this point, for the next 5 minutes, Cuddy utterly dominates the match. Stryker finally gets the upper hand and scoop slams Cuddy out of the ring, but instead of capatilizing, he decided to show off by posing. When Cuddy rolls back in the ring, Stryker drops an Emerald Fusion. Cuddy responds with a reverse gory bomb, but only manages to get a 2 count.

After some more fighting, Cuddy takes his revenge for the Stryker Rolly Polly by putting a spell on him. He whips Stryker into the ropes but Stryker reverses, going up top and delivering a huge senton. Stryker picks up Cuddy but gets punched in the gut. Cuddy hits the Run Run its Chavo (Run Run), and then hits the reverse gory bomb. 2 count. In frustration Cuddy hits the Run Run again, locking in a bow and arrow hold, but Stryker refuses to submit.

Stryker kicks Cuddy in the gut and hits the Emerald Fusion 09! Only a 2 count. Stryker throws Cuddy out of the ring and delivers a plancha suicide over the ropes. Stryker rolls Cuddy back in and hits the Emerald Fusion 09 again! 2 count. Emerald Fusion 09! 2 count. For the 3rd time in a row, Emerald Fusion 09! Stryker has overextended himself and is too tired to make the pin. Cuddy gets to his feet, walks over to Stryker and puts the Neihan submission on him. Stryker holds out for at least a minute until finally tapping.

Winner: Parachute McGilaCuddy via Neihan - 24 min, 44 sec

Match #4 - Booty Kall & TNT vs. Subby Phillips & Lord Xbox

This was the first time these two teams had formed. Subby, while being friends with Xbox, have never fought together, and Booty and TNT were paired together for this bout.

Booty and Subby started things off with some tests of strength and a few reversals. An amusing spot happened when Subby vertical suplexed Booty out of the ring. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in as Booty rolled out. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in to applause from the crowd.

Booty tagged TNT and they double teamed Subby. Subby makes it to Xbox and tags. Some back and forth before Xbox vertical suplexed TNT to the outside. A cluster ensued as all 4 were beating each other up on the outside. All 4 rolled in the ring, the ref restored order, and TNT tagged to Booty.

For the next 5 or so minutes Xbox was outsmarting Booty. I think Booty's anger got the better of him as he was making too many mistakes and paying for them. Finally Booty slams Xbox in the corner and delivers a Fisherman's Buster from the top rope! He picks Xbox up and its the BK Bomb! Only a 2.9. Booty picks Xbox up and pulls off a triple german suplex. He goes for the pin but Subby breaks up the count at 2.

Xbox tags to Subby and Subby grabs Booty, locking in the 'get out of this' submission. TNT dives in to break it up. Subby locks in a leg bar, again broken up by TNT. Booty hits the triple germans again but the pin in broken up by Xbox. Booty tags to TNT and TNT starts dominating Subby for a few minutes.

Subby pulls off a reversal on TNT, locking in an armbar. Booty breaks the hold and then starts beating up Subby. While TNT watches his partner, Xbox runs in and hits the 3 red rings on TNT sending him rolling to the outside, while Subby manages to put Booty in a submission. Booty breaks out and hits a running cross body, getting only a 2 count.

Booty tags to TNT and they double team Subby again. Subby manages to tag Xbox in and a cluster ensues as all 4 are beating each other in the ring. In the chaos, TNT rolls up Xbox and the ref dives to make the count. 1,2,3, it's over!

Winner: Booty Kall & TNT via roll up - 26 min, 17 sec

Match #5 - Bare Bear vs Mitchell

This match was full of controversy. To start with, Bear walks out to his entrance music, but for some unknown reason, Reginald Waters is accompanying him. Bear gets in the ring as Reggie stands outside the ring in his corner. Mitchell walks in, and looks at Reggie quizically. The bell rings and the match was underway.

Lots of trading blows but things started escalating when Bear grabbed a bat and cracked Mitchell in the back of the head. Obviously weakened, Bear whipped Mitchell into the barbed wire, and Mitchell was busted open at only 2 minutes into the match.

A little more brawling before Bear slams Mitchell with the golden left! He then locked in the Alpha hold but Mitchell refused to tap. Bear continues to dominate Mitchell, continually whipping him into the barbed wire and barraging him with palm strikes and neck chops. Mitchell gains an upper hand when he clocks Bear across the face with the bat, but it is short lived as Reggie throws Bear a barbed wire bat and Bear clocks Mitchell across the face with it in response.

As the brawl continued, Reggie started tinkering with the explosives outside the ring on the side Mitchell was on. Seeing its a death match, the ref couldn't stop him, plus had no idea what he was actually doing. When the explosives went off at 15 mins, it became clear. The explosion on Mitchell's side was much much larger, searing his skin and leaving him lifeless on the mat. Bear got up as the ref checked Mitchell. He was unconscious. Bear won the match.

Winner: Bare Bear via KO - 15 min

Main Event - Big Gordon vs Boomerang (Ultra Title Match)

The surprises continued in this match. The first few minutes were what we had come to expect of these two competitors. A lot of back and forth action with plenty of 1 counts. Niether able to get the upper hand.

At the 6 minute mark Gordon gained an upper hand when out of seemingly nowhere he picked Boomerang up and hit the Gordon Bomb. Boomerang managed to lift his shoulder at 2.9. A little more back and forth but then Gordon slammed Boomerang to the mat with the Volcanic Eruption. Boomerang went nowhere. 1,2,3, Gordon is your new Ultra Title champion!

Winner: Big Gordon via Volcanic Eruption - 7 min, 11 sec.

Wow, lots of surprises there, especially in the last 2 matches. Over the next week, we'll get some interviews with the wrestlers to explain some of what we saw here tonight. The new card will be put up here on the 6th of September. Hope you all had fun, and remember to return to Ultra Wrestle, it's where wrestling magic happens!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Roster: Final update

Mr. D here for our final roster update. It would have been sooner but i've been watching the fantastic Tag Team DVD the WWE has released. Steiner Brothers vs. Hase and Sasaki from 1991. Worth the price alone.

Anyway, we have 6 guys left so let's get to it!

J. M. Stryker
A long time veteran of the indy scene, JM Stryker has been signed to Ultra Wrestle. A perfectionist in the ring, Stryker strives to give the fans the best match they have ever seen on a nightly basis. Despite his dedication to the business, he is one cocky SOB. I think this quote from him says it all...

"I may not be the biggest, I may not be the fastest, I may not be the strongest, but I am the smartest, and I am the best. You see me, and it all becomes clear - you are my fan and you didn't even know it. Now, doesn't that just lift your spirits?"

His finisher, which he dubs the Emerald Fusion '09 is a Schwein that is both fast and hard hitting. Be on the lookout for Stryker's next match. According to him, you're his biggest fan.

Subby Phillips
From one self absorbed individual to the next. Subby has spent most of his life building his body up to perfection. He's a muscle toned beach bum, who makes no allusions about enjoying certain illegal substances. What makes him different than every other narcissistic built pot head in professional wrestling? How about that his entire moveset consists of submission holds. Subby likes to go at his own pace, and with his deadly arsenal of holds, he can slow anyone down. His finisher, dubbed 'Get out of this' is a bat-hanging lock that has weakened and injured most of the roster. Subby has no real goals or aspirations for his career in Ultra Wrestle, but he seems to enjoy wrestling, and he can be quite competent at it when he wants to be.

He's TNT, he's dynamite (I made that joke so you don't have to)! TNT is young, agile, strong, he has a goatee. Yup, this is one guy who hasn't found his voice yet. I signed him for his phenomenal in ring ability but the man is almost devoid of personality when doing anything but wrestling. Hopefully he'll learn the skills here he needs to take him to the next level. His finisher he calls 'Where's the Kaboom?', which is his own version of the guillotine crusher. See, he obviously has a sense of humour. We'll try working with him folks. In the meantime, enjoy him in the ring, and ignore him if he gets near a microphone.

El Turnipo
El Turnipo is a lucky kid. Since applying to Ultra Wrestle, wanting to become a pro wrestler, he's been taken under the wing of the Psycho Amigo, Los Bombola and myself. He has a lot of talent and is getting better match by match (especially with our tutelage). He still has a long way to go however, but he is able to put on a good show with almost anybody in the fed. He hasn't named his finisher yet, but he decided to emulate Super Delfin and use the Osaka Stunner. Turnip is a little naive, but is willing to learn from those with more experience. We wish him the best in Ultra Wrestle (and i'm not saying that just because he's my student).

Lord Xbox
Now i love the video games, but i'm embarrassed by a certain type of gamer. Lord Xbox is that gamer. He's cocky, obnoxious, he smack talks during matches, and he thinks he's better than anyone on the roster. He also shows off too much in the ring. Granted he's a tough customer and he can back up a lot of what he says, but the idea of being a good sport is a foreign concept to him. Plus as a wrestler, he really should take some time and keep in shape. His finisher is called 'The Three Red Rings', and is a Grand Salsa Auto which has put more than one opponent out of commission. Xbox is good friends with Subby Phillips, but the laid back nature of Subby never seems to wear off on him. We can only hope that over time it will.

Now I did explain in the last update that we only signed Rick to get his friend and tag team partner Yob. Yob is worth it. Agile and full of power, his in ring style is always entertaining. On the mic, he's talkative and captivating but like his partner, he can be quite the vain douchebag. They do call their tag team The Pretty Boys after all. Yob also fancies himself a musician and so calls his finisher The Power Chord (really, its all he knows how to play). It's a Tornado DDT off the second rope. Together they make a good tag team, and Yob is a great singles competitor, but his arrogance often allienates the fans... his arrogance, and that guy he hangs around with.

Well... that's the Ultra Wrestle roster. I hope you have an idea now of the talent and personalities that make up this great fed. Next week I'll post our first card which will be next weekend. Stay tuned!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Roster part 3

Hey there again Ultra Wrestle junkies. In this, part 3 of our roster bio extravagansa, we introduce 5 more of our great wrestlers. Let's get this party started!

Parachute McGilacuddy
Oh boy, where do I begin? Everything about this guy is an offense to all that is good and decent (not the least of which is that horrendous gut). It may or may not surprise you to know that Parachute McGilaCuddy spent a couple years on the street, and quite a few more in therapy. He calls his finisher the 'Run Run its Chavo' which is a harsh Murder Backdrop. He claims that it keeps Chavo Guerrero away. Ah yes, Parachute is quite into conspiracy theories and believes that the high flyer from the WWE is responsible for the deaths of most professional wrestlers. Flamboyant, completely deranged, and very nasty in the ring, Parachute McGilacuddy is not someone who's bad side you want to be on. Better yet, it's probably safer to avoid him altogether.

Reginald Waters
Sir Reginald Waters the Third is a classically trained British brawler. He ventured over to the United States years ago after a lack of competition on his home turf. His aristocratic upbringing and cocky demeanour have not endeared him to Americans however, as he believes he is not only above them, but above the sport he has dedicated his life to (try figuring that one out). His finisher the Upper Class is the strongest lariat i've ever seen in the business. Reginald is not a good sport or a nice man. He is however one hell of a good wrestler and will take any challenge thrown at him. One to watch at a safe distance.

It's Rick, just plain Rick. Rick was part of a deal for signing his tag team partner and best friend Yob. Oh sure he has some ability, but man you have never met a more narcissistic person in your life... that and we really just wanted Yob. Large, a stiff worker, and mean, Rick takes pleasure in hurting his opponents. His finisher the Broken Mirror is a Pedegree, usually followed by a suplex and a pin. To tell you the truth, we wouldn't mind Rick half as much if he didn't wear such tight pants.

The Serpent
The Serpent is an MMA fighter from Sudan, who has decided to try his hand at professional wrestling. Meeting him in Japan, I signed him to the fed soon after, being very impressed with his versatility, and his brutality. Still learning the English language, Serpent only talks in small bursts if at all, but one thing is clear, step in a ring with him, you will get hurt. His finisher the Cobra Strike is a swift Kenta Kick to the skull which has knocked out numerous opponents and even resulted in a couple concusions. Every now and then, Serpent gets the MMA itch so we have an octogonal cage on standby, but most of the time, a deathmatch is enough to feed his need for violence.

Simon Destructo
The other half of the tag team Devastation. Even though Simon and Blue Lion's places of birth were separated by the Atlantic ocean, once they met in Ultra Wrestle, they found and formed a kinship, as if they'd been brothers their whole lives. Simon Destructo is a bit of an oddball. He trained in mat wrestling, Lucha, and MMA, but his secret passion is Baseball. He wears his jersey everywhere, and even named his finisher the You Are Out (which is a Styles Crush rolled over into a pin). Simon seems to have the talent to be a top singles competitor in Ultra Wrestle, but his loyalty to his tag team partner has stopped that from ever crossing his mind.

Next update, the final 6 wrestlers of the Ultra Wrestle roster. Shortly after that, we'll post our first card and then it's on with the wrestling. Stay tuned!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Roster part 2

Hello again folks. Mr. D here with another post introducing our roster. Nothing really left to say, so let's get to it!

Bare Bear
A mysterious cage fighter from Mongolia. Does Bear wear the mask and fur of the Gobi Bear for some shamanistic purpose? Is it to inspire fear in his opponents? Is it that his face is more horrendously scarred than his body? Whatever the answer, you won't get it from Bear. Expressing himself with body language and a series of grunts and growls, Bear is a man of few words but gets his message across perfectly. Combining martial arts with a harsh puroresu type wrestling style, Bear is a force of nature within Ultra Wrestle. His finisher, 'The Bear Facts of Life' is a swift and solid punch to the solar plexis that will drop any wrestler on the spot. Its name suggests Bear has a sense of humour. Its execution proves that its quite dark.

Blue Lion
He comes from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. The Blue Lion became famous throughout the north of Europe (Norway, Sweden & Finland) as a formidable, and devastating wrestling opponent. Now he's looking to make a name for himself in North America. One half of the tag team Devastation, Blue Lion does not speak much, having his partner Simon Destructo speak for him. His finisher, the Antelope Gutter, is a picture perfect Northern Lights Bomb. Why is he blue? While most working here at Ultra Wrestle think it's just body paint, we've never seen him without it. No nonsense and always down to business, Blue Lion is one to keep an eye on.

Los Bombola
Los Bombola, the flying fatman. Trainer of the Psycho Amigo, Bombola has been an active competitor for over 25 years in Mexico and the US. Defying the laws of gravity on a nightly basis, Bombola has always been a fan favourite and never fails to put on a spectacular show. Lately he has become concerned with his weight and has been trying hard to lose it through various diets. The lack of his beloved junk foods has started to show in his in-ring performances, where a mean streak is emerging. His finisher the Chocolate Rain has to be seen to be believed. A Corkscrew Moonsault Press, launched off his standing opponent.

Booty Kall
He loves wrestling almost as much as he loves the ladies. An amatuer wrestler through high school and university (with a brief stint in MMA), Booty Kall has honed his skills to be at the top of his game. Arrogant, brash, and containing one hell of a mean streak, Booty Kall will do what he can to be the best in Ultra Wrestle. His finisher, the BK Bomb, which is a Samurai Power Bomb, will end most matches immediatly. Entertaining in and outside the ring, Booty Kall has quite a career ahead of him.

Big Gordon
The English all rounder. Gordon has won the Ultra Title, held his own in various deathmatches, and almost injured more than one opponent with the deadly Gordon Bomb. Jovial and friendly outside the ring, all business inside it. Gordon was trained to make use of his power, before leaving England to seek noteriety amongst the American indy circuit. Now in Ultra Wrestle, he can hone his skills in multiple areas, though at the moment his sights are set on the Ultra Title that Boomerang won off him many months ago.

More bios of the Ultra Wrestle roster next post. Keep visiting the Ultra Wrestle blog. Your one stop shop for all things Ultra Wrestle.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Roster: Ref, Titles and Current Champs

Heya Ultra Wrestle fans! Mr D here with the first update explaining the fed and the roster. This post will be dedicated to our senior official (the referee), the belts Ultra Wrestle has, and their champions at this time.

Yes we have champions. See, we've been performing a lot of house shows around the place with a couple matches a night, just testing the waters and getting the talent ready for the level of quality i expect from matches in my federation. We've had some amazing fights already, a couple nasty injuries and the titles have changed hands on more than one occasion.

Well, let's start things off by intruding our senior official, Mustafa.Mustafa is a veteran of the wrestling business. An active competitor in his younger days, he retired around the age of 45 to become a referee. 20 years later, he's still going strong. His count has gotten a little slow over the years, but that's a slow count for everyone, so we let it slide.

I probably should mention this now, but we do things a little differently in Ultra Wrestle. To start with, our countout timer is 20. We also have a 5 second disqualification rule. If you're doing something illegal, you have 5 seconds to stop it or you will be disqualified. Also, our fed does not use rope breaks. That's right, being near the rope will not break any submission or pinfall. We feel this increases the flow of the matches.

Now let's move onto the belts.

First up are the Ultra Tag titles.

Any two competitiors can team up and be eligible for these titles. Ultra Wrestle encourages wrestlers to form tag teams, as we want this division to be full of competitive spirit. Plans are in the works for making a tag team tournament once a year for this very reason.

Our current tag champs are The Condors, Trebor and The Psycho Amigo.

Treber may be little but that doesn't stop him from being one tough SOB. With a style that combines high flying with deadly kicks, Trebor has been known to punish his opponents. His finisher, the Tiny Drop is a beautiful frog splash off the top rope that hurts a lot more than you'd think it would.

The Psycho Amigo (Fernandaz Rodreigo) is Ultra Wrestle's run of the mill luchador. Strong and Agile, his flips and slams never fail to impress. Amigo either uses The Plantation or his inverted Plantation to finish off his opponents. Both are forms of the Diamond Cutter, and look beautiful in their execution.

Our next belt is the Ultra Crazy title.

This is for those wrestlers that like to test the endurance of their bodies in either the Barbed Wire Deathmatch or the Landmine Deathmatch. Both utterly brutal, but with the right people in the ring, it can be a thing of beauty and wonder (as well as great entertainment).

Our current champ is Mitchell.

Old, lethargic, eats and smokes too much. That's Mitchell. In the 70s he was the star of a failed 90 minute TV pilot about the world's worst police officer. Soon after he made a career change to wrestling. Mitchell is rather boring to watch in the ring (and he usually wins his matches with sleeper holds after wearing down his opponents), but his stamina is astounding, taking unbelivable amounts of punishment and coming back for more. His finisher is The Gravy Boat, a variation on the Ashi Susumu. We have a feeling he chose it only cause the move ends with him in a sitting position.

Finally, there is the Ultra Title.

This belt is the top prize in the federation. To acquire it, and indeed retain it, you need to be on top of your game, fending off the best our fed has to offer.

The current Ultra champ is Boomerang.

Raised on the streets of Lilydale, Australia, Boomerang made his way over to the US where he trained himself up in the indy scene for a few years. Upon his arrival in Ultra Wrestle, his weaknesses as an amatuer wrestler became readily apparent. Strengthing his resolve Boomerang trained hard, changed his attitude and has become a dominant force in the company.

While most do not agree with the way Boomerang conducts himself inside and outside the ring, with his brash, hooligan like behavior, no one can argue with his results. Taking on all comers and showing them why he is the best in the company at the moment, it will take a special talent to pry the belt out of his fingers. His finisher, The Dingo Drop is a devastating Ultra Rana into a pin.

One final word. Another rule we have to keep things fair is not allowing a title holder to persue any other belt. If a tag champ wants to try for the Ultra title, he has to wait till his team loses the belt, and vice versa. Like most of our differing rules, we feel it keeps things interesting.

Next update, i'll start going through the rest of the roster. Till then, remember, Ultra Wrestle's where wrestling happens.

Monday, July 27, 2009


Hi Folks.

My name is Dave Richards, but you can call me Mr. D. What does the D stand for you ask? Why, "don't mess with Mr. D." of course.

I've spent many years competing around the e-fed circuit in the early 2000s. I retired for quite a while, but now i'm back in the business with my own federation, Ultra Wrestle! We're gonna try our darndest to offer the finest wrestling the indys, the majors or the e-feds have ever seen.

This blog is an internet hub for all things UltraWrestle. Over the next week or two, i'll post up pictures of our current roster with a short bio on each wrestler (we've got 20 of the best up and comers at the moment, and am looking to add to our ranks).

After the introductions, i'll start posting the cards for our next shows. We're planning on 2 a month at this point in time, with plans for a couple of pay-per-views throughout the year to add to the excitement. Aside from the cards and results (we're planning on putting up video of the main events), we'll have interviews and promos here.

Be sure to stick around. Ultra Wrestle is all things Wrestling. Watch this space, we're gonna be huge!

- Mr. D.