Results from Card #1

Heya all. Wow, what a show that was. I think we've really cemented ourselves as a force in the world of professional wrestling.

Here's how things went down...

Match #1 - El Turnipo vs Los Bombola

A great bout to start off the night. These two traded high flying moves for most of the match, with things heating up with a top rope huricanrana from Turnipo. Bombola shocked the crowd with a Frog Splash as he lept half the ring to land on Turnipo, standing up and performing a standing reverse moonsault for the pin. Only a 2.9 however.

The match went on with Turnipo being dominated by Bombola. Out of desperation, Turnipo hit a standing enziguri, went for the pin, but only got a 2.9. Turnipo started putting the boot to Bombola in frustration. Bombola leaped to his feet, and launched off Turnipo for the Chocolate Rain. 1,2,3 match over.

After the pin, Los Bombola pulled Turnipo to his feet and extended his hand. Turnipo shook it, and then raised Bombola's arm in triumph before rolling out of the ring, returning to the back.

Winner: Los Bombola via Chocolate Rain - 11 min, 19 sec

Match #2 - Devastation vs. The Pretty Boys (#1 Contender's Match)

Boy was this one rough. Let's go over the spots. For most of the start of the match, Devastation was completely wailing on Rick from the Pretty Boys. Simon performed the You Are Out early, but Yob jumped in the ring to break up the count.

Simon superkicked Rick in the face, sending him over the ropes to the outside. Yob jumped in the ring and started attacking Simon as Blue Lion (BL) grabbed a chair and began attacking Rick on the outside. BL rolls Rick back into the ring, and Mustafa, the ref sent Yob back to his corner, continuing the match.

Simon consecutively pins Rick, first with a Powerbomb, and then with the You Are Out again. Yob breaks up each attempt. Simon tags out to BL. BL spits fire in Rick's face when the ref isn't looking and then proceeds to physically dissect the man for the next few minutes. Catching a lucky break, Rick gets away from Simon and makes the tag to Yob.

BL grabs Yob and hits the Antelope Gutter. Rick breaks up the count at 1. BL hits a second Antelope Gutter, picks Yob up and springboard dropkicks him to the outside. A cluster begins as all 4 wrestlers are attacking each other on the outside. BL rolls Yob and Rick into the ring, picks up a Sledgehammer and aims for Yob. Rick tries to pull BL off his partner and gets a sledgehammer in the face for his troubles. Rick rolls to the outside as Yob starts retailiating on BL. This doesn't last long however as BL hits his 3rd Antelope Gutter on Yob, only being able to get a 2 count before Yob kicks out. Yob flips up and delivers a spinning heel kick to BL's face, going for the pin and getting a 2 count.

BL manages to reach Simon to tag. Simon blocks Yob's attacks, hits the You Are Out, and before Rick can break up the pin, gets the 3 count.

Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 24 min, 28 sec


Match #3 - J. M. Stryker vs Parachute McGilacuddy

In this match we got to see the resiliance of Stryker and the nastiness of Cuddy. Like most matches, this started with some back and forth, and a couple power moves. Things took a turn for the worse when the cocky Stryker decided to pull off what i call the 'Stryker Rolly Polly', humiliating Cuddy by rolling back and forth over him. Styker picked Cuddy up but was met with a series of open hand palm strikes to the face, before being thrown outside the ring by.

Cuddy picks up a florescent tube and cracks Stryker over the head with it. From this point, for the next 5 minutes, Cuddy utterly dominates the match. Stryker finally gets the upper hand and scoop slams Cuddy out of the ring, but instead of capatilizing, he decided to show off by posing. When Cuddy rolls back in the ring, Stryker drops an Emerald Fusion. Cuddy responds with a reverse gory bomb, but only manages to get a 2 count.

After some more fighting, Cuddy takes his revenge for the Stryker Rolly Polly by putting a spell on him. He whips Stryker into the ropes but Stryker reverses, going up top and delivering a huge senton. Stryker picks up Cuddy but gets punched in the gut. Cuddy hits the Run Run its Chavo (Run Run), and then hits the reverse gory bomb. 2 count. In frustration Cuddy hits the Run Run again, locking in a bow and arrow hold, but Stryker refuses to submit.

Stryker kicks Cuddy in the gut and hits the Emerald Fusion 09! Only a 2 count. Stryker throws Cuddy out of the ring and delivers a plancha suicide over the ropes. Stryker rolls Cuddy back in and hits the Emerald Fusion 09 again! 2 count. Emerald Fusion 09! 2 count. For the 3rd time in a row, Emerald Fusion 09! Stryker has overextended himself and is too tired to make the pin. Cuddy gets to his feet, walks over to Stryker and puts the Neihan submission on him. Stryker holds out for at least a minute until finally tapping.

Winner: Parachute McGilaCuddy via Neihan - 24 min, 44 sec

Match #4 - Booty Kall & TNT vs. Subby Phillips & Lord Xbox

This was the first time these two teams had formed. Subby, while being friends with Xbox, have never fought together, and Booty and TNT were paired together for this bout.

Booty and Subby started things off with some tests of strength and a few reversals. An amusing spot happened when Subby vertical suplexed Booty out of the ring. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in as Booty rolled out. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in to applause from the crowd.

Booty tagged TNT and they double teamed Subby. Subby makes it to Xbox and tags. Some back and forth before Xbox vertical suplexed TNT to the outside. A cluster ensued as all 4 were beating each other up on the outside. All 4 rolled in the ring, the ref restored order, and TNT tagged to Booty.

For the next 5 or so minutes Xbox was outsmarting Booty. I think Booty's anger got the better of him as he was making too many mistakes and paying for them. Finally Booty slams Xbox in the corner and delivers a Fisherman's Buster from the top rope! He picks Xbox up and its the BK Bomb! Only a 2.9. Booty picks Xbox up and pulls off a triple german suplex. He goes for the pin but Subby breaks up the count at 2.

Xbox tags to Subby and Subby grabs Booty, locking in the 'get out of this' submission. TNT dives in to break it up. Subby locks in a leg bar, again broken up by TNT. Booty hits the triple germans again but the pin in broken up by Xbox. Booty tags to TNT and TNT starts dominating Subby for a few minutes.

Subby pulls off a reversal on TNT, locking in an armbar. Booty breaks the hold and then starts beating up Subby. While TNT watches his partner, Xbox runs in and hits the 3 red rings on TNT sending him rolling to the outside, while Subby manages to put Booty in a submission. Booty breaks out and hits a running cross body, getting only a 2 count.

Booty tags to TNT and they double team Subby again. Subby manages to tag Xbox in and a cluster ensues as all 4 are beating each other in the ring. In the chaos, TNT rolls up Xbox and the ref dives to make the count. 1,2,3, it's over!

Winner: Booty Kall & TNT via roll up - 26 min, 17 sec


Match #5 - Bare Bear vs Mitchell

This match was full of controversy. To start with, Bear walks out to his entrance music, but for some unknown reason, Reginald Waters is accompanying him. Bear gets in the ring as Reggie stands outside the ring in his corner. Mitchell walks in, and looks at Reggie quizically. The bell rings and the match was underway.

Lots of trading blows but things started escalating when Bear grabbed a bat and cracked Mitchell in the back of the head. Obviously weakened, Bear whipped Mitchell into the barbed wire, and Mitchell was busted open at only 2 minutes into the match.

A little more brawling before Bear slams Mitchell with the golden left! He then locked in the Alpha hold but Mitchell refused to tap. Bear continues to dominate Mitchell, continually whipping him into the barbed wire and barraging him with palm strikes and neck chops. Mitchell gains an upper hand when he clocks Bear across the face with the bat, but it is short lived as Reggie throws Bear a barbed wire bat and Bear clocks Mitchell across the face with it in response.

As the brawl continued, Reggie started tinkering with the explosives outside the ring on the side Mitchell was on. Seeing its a death match, the ref couldn't stop him, plus had no idea what he was actually doing. When the explosives went off at 15 mins, it became clear. The explosion on Mitchell's side was much much larger, searing his skin and leaving him lifeless on the mat. Bear got up as the ref checked Mitchell. He was unconscious. Bear won the match.

Winner: Bare Bear via KO - 15 min


Main Event - Big Gordon vs Boomerang (Ultra Title Match)

The surprises continued in this match. The first few minutes were what we had come to expect of these two competitors. A lot of back and forth action with plenty of 1 counts. Niether able to get the upper hand.

At the 6 minute mark Gordon gained an upper hand when out of seemingly nowhere he picked Boomerang up and hit the Gordon Bomb. Boomerang managed to lift his shoulder at 2.9. A little more back and forth but then Gordon slammed Boomerang to the mat with the Volcanic Eruption. Boomerang went nowhere. 1,2,3, Gordon is your new Ultra Title champion!

Winner: Big Gordon via Volcanic Eruption - 7 min, 11 sec.



Wow, lots of surprises there, especially in the last 2 matches. Over the next week, we'll get some interviews with the wrestlers to explain some of what we saw here tonight. The new card will be put up here on the 6th of September. Hope you all had fun, and remember to return to Ultra Wrestle, it's where wrestling magic happens!