Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Interview - Reginald Waters

BW: Hi folks, this is Buck Winhurst here with Sir Reginald Waters the third. Now Reggie... can i call you Reggie?

SRW: *sigh* I'd prefer if you didn't but i guess you can't escape the environment you were brought up in.

BW: Ok. Well Reggie, fans of Ultra Wrestle are all wanting to know what happened at Numero Uno. Let's start at the beginning. Why were you accompanying Bare Bear to the ring?

SRW: Well you see ...Buck, i only enlisted the services of my ursine companion for that evening. Ultra Wrestle has plenty of sociopaths who enjoy the carnage of the deathmatch and i shall keep enlisting their services and aiding them in any way possible until i fufill my original goal.

BW: Well i guess the next logical question would be what that goal might be.

SRW: Very astute of you indeed young Buck. My goal is the retirement of that overweight, out of shape disgrace to the sport of professional wrestling, Mitchell. That man is an abomination. He is the epitome of american decadance and entitlement. I have worked my whole life to achieve my goals in the squared circle, and i shall continue to do so. It's one of the calling cards of us British wrestlers. Look at my fellow countryman Big Gordon. He won the ultra title off that obnoxious Australian hooligan last week. Mitchell exerts no effort in the ring and yet he holds the Ultra Crazy title and consistantly wins. Well no more i say, no more.

BW: But seeing that he wins consistantly, wouldn't that show the level of talent Mitchell posesses?

SRW: Talent? Oh dear. You poor deluded fool. Every wrestling fan with half a brain knows match outcomes are predetermined, well no longer. Mitchell was supposed to win the match at Numero Uno, and i made sure he didn't, as i will continue to do so until that belt is off his waist. Mark my words young Buck, and mark them well, when i'm through with Mitchell, retirement will almost be a certainty. Ah ha ha.

BW: Well, those were some illuminating words from Sir Reginald Waters. I guess we'll see what he has in store for the Ultra Crazy champion on the next show. Until then, i'm Buck Winhurst. You folks enjoy your week.

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