Sunday, August 30, 2009

Card #2 - Dawning Realization

Dawning Realisation

Match #1
Boomerang vs Los Bombola

Match #2
El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips

Match #3 - Cage Match
The Serpent (accompanied by Reginald Waters) vs Mitchell

Match #4
Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy

Match #5 - Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender's Match
J. M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob

Main Event - Ultra Tag Match
The Condors vs Devastation

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Interview - Boomerang

KR: Hi everyone! This is Kirsten Reeds here with ex Ultra Wrestle champ Boomerang. So the question on the minds of all is how you're coping with losing to Big Gordon last week?

BOOM: How am i coping? How does it feel to lose to Big Gordon? How does it feel? You jerks are all broken records! So sure of yourselves now that your hero has the title back. You think i'm out of the picture, end of story, roll credits? If you knew anything, you'd realise a movie has three acts and as i recall, there's only been two. I beat Big Gordon, Big Gordon beats me. One a piece, so i think there needs to be a decider, and if Mr. D has any balls at all, he will set this up! See, until i get my rematch, i'm going to be the biggest badass this company has seen. Everyone will know what it means to get on my bad side! And when the chairman has finally seen sense and i get my rematch, we will be departing from the standard Hollywood ending, because the hero will not be walking away into the sunset.

Believe it Big Gordon for my name is Boomerang, and I. Always. Come. Back!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Interview - Reginald Waters

BW: Hi folks, this is Buck Winhurst here with Sir Reginald Waters the third. Now Reggie... can i call you Reggie?

SRW: *sigh* I'd prefer if you didn't but i guess you can't escape the environment you were brought up in.

BW: Ok. Well Reggie, fans of Ultra Wrestle are all wanting to know what happened at Numero Uno. Let's start at the beginning. Why were you accompanying Bare Bear to the ring?

SRW: Well you see ...Buck, i only enlisted the services of my ursine companion for that evening. Ultra Wrestle has plenty of sociopaths who enjoy the carnage of the deathmatch and i shall keep enlisting their services and aiding them in any way possible until i fufill my original goal.

BW: Well i guess the next logical question would be what that goal might be.

SRW: Very astute of you indeed young Buck. My goal is the retirement of that overweight, out of shape disgrace to the sport of professional wrestling, Mitchell. That man is an abomination. He is the epitome of american decadance and entitlement. I have worked my whole life to achieve my goals in the squared circle, and i shall continue to do so. It's one of the calling cards of us British wrestlers. Look at my fellow countryman Big Gordon. He won the ultra title off that obnoxious Australian hooligan last week. Mitchell exerts no effort in the ring and yet he holds the Ultra Crazy title and consistantly wins. Well no more i say, no more.

BW: But seeing that he wins consistantly, wouldn't that show the level of talent Mitchell posesses?

SRW: Talent? Oh dear. You poor deluded fool. Every wrestling fan with half a brain knows match outcomes are predetermined, well no longer. Mitchell was supposed to win the match at Numero Uno, and i made sure he didn't, as i will continue to do so until that belt is off his waist. Mark my words young Buck, and mark them well, when i'm through with Mitchell, retirement will almost be a certainty. Ah ha ha.

BW: Well, those were some illuminating words from Sir Reginald Waters. I guess we'll see what he has in store for the Ultra Crazy champion on the next show. Until then, i'm Buck Winhurst. You folks enjoy your week.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Results from Card #1

Heya all. Wow, what a show that was. I think we've really cemented ourselves as a force in the world of professional wrestling.

Here's how things went down...

Match #1 - El Turnipo vs Los Bombola

A great bout to start off the night. These two traded high flying moves for most of the match, with things heating up with a top rope huricanrana from Turnipo. Bombola shocked the crowd with a Frog Splash as he lept half the ring to land on Turnipo, standing up and performing a standing reverse moonsault for the pin. Only a 2.9 however.

The match went on with Turnipo being dominated by Bombola. Out of desperation, Turnipo hit a standing enziguri, went for the pin, but only got a 2.9. Turnipo started putting the boot to Bombola in frustration. Bombola leaped to his feet, and launched off Turnipo for the Chocolate Rain. 1,2,3 match over.

After the pin, Los Bombola pulled Turnipo to his feet and extended his hand. Turnipo shook it, and then raised Bombola's arm in triumph before rolling out of the ring, returning to the back.

Winner: Los Bombola via Chocolate Rain - 11 min, 19 sec

Match #2 - Devastation vs. The Pretty Boys (#1 Contender's Match)

Boy was this one rough. Let's go over the spots. For most of the start of the match, Devastation was completely wailing on Rick from the Pretty Boys. Simon performed the You Are Out early, but Yob jumped in the ring to break up the count.

Simon superkicked Rick in the face, sending him over the ropes to the outside. Yob jumped in the ring and started attacking Simon as Blue Lion (BL) grabbed a chair and began attacking Rick on the outside. BL rolls Rick back into the ring, and Mustafa, the ref sent Yob back to his corner, continuing the match.

Simon consecutively pins Rick, first with a Powerbomb, and then with the You Are Out again. Yob breaks up each attempt. Simon tags out to BL. BL spits fire in Rick's face when the ref isn't looking and then proceeds to physically dissect the man for the next few minutes. Catching a lucky break, Rick gets away from Simon and makes the tag to Yob.

BL grabs Yob and hits the Antelope Gutter. Rick breaks up the count at 1. BL hits a second Antelope Gutter, picks Yob up and springboard dropkicks him to the outside. A cluster begins as all 4 wrestlers are attacking each other on the outside. BL rolls Yob and Rick into the ring, picks up a Sledgehammer and aims for Yob. Rick tries to pull BL off his partner and gets a sledgehammer in the face for his troubles. Rick rolls to the outside as Yob starts retailiating on BL. This doesn't last long however as BL hits his 3rd Antelope Gutter on Yob, only being able to get a 2 count before Yob kicks out. Yob flips up and delivers a spinning heel kick to BL's face, going for the pin and getting a 2 count.

BL manages to reach Simon to tag. Simon blocks Yob's attacks, hits the You Are Out, and before Rick can break up the pin, gets the 3 count.

Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 24 min, 28 sec

Match #3 - J. M. Stryker vs Parachute McGilacuddy

In this match we got to see the resiliance of Stryker and the nastiness of Cuddy. Like most matches, this started with some back and forth, and a couple power moves. Things took a turn for the worse when the cocky Stryker decided to pull off what i call the 'Stryker Rolly Polly', humiliating Cuddy by rolling back and forth over him. Styker picked Cuddy up but was met with a series of open hand palm strikes to the face, before being thrown outside the ring by.

Cuddy picks up a florescent tube and cracks Stryker over the head with it. From this point, for the next 5 minutes, Cuddy utterly dominates the match. Stryker finally gets the upper hand and scoop slams Cuddy out of the ring, but instead of capatilizing, he decided to show off by posing. When Cuddy rolls back in the ring, Stryker drops an Emerald Fusion. Cuddy responds with a reverse gory bomb, but only manages to get a 2 count.

After some more fighting, Cuddy takes his revenge for the Stryker Rolly Polly by putting a spell on him. He whips Stryker into the ropes but Stryker reverses, going up top and delivering a huge senton. Stryker picks up Cuddy but gets punched in the gut. Cuddy hits the Run Run its Chavo (Run Run), and then hits the reverse gory bomb. 2 count. In frustration Cuddy hits the Run Run again, locking in a bow and arrow hold, but Stryker refuses to submit.

Stryker kicks Cuddy in the gut and hits the Emerald Fusion 09! Only a 2 count. Stryker throws Cuddy out of the ring and delivers a plancha suicide over the ropes. Stryker rolls Cuddy back in and hits the Emerald Fusion 09 again! 2 count. Emerald Fusion 09! 2 count. For the 3rd time in a row, Emerald Fusion 09! Stryker has overextended himself and is too tired to make the pin. Cuddy gets to his feet, walks over to Stryker and puts the Neihan submission on him. Stryker holds out for at least a minute until finally tapping.

Winner: Parachute McGilaCuddy via Neihan - 24 min, 44 sec

Match #4 - Booty Kall & TNT vs. Subby Phillips & Lord Xbox

This was the first time these two teams had formed. Subby, while being friends with Xbox, have never fought together, and Booty and TNT were paired together for this bout.

Booty and Subby started things off with some tests of strength and a few reversals. An amusing spot happened when Subby vertical suplexed Booty out of the ring. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in as Booty rolled out. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in to applause from the crowd.

Booty tagged TNT and they double teamed Subby. Subby makes it to Xbox and tags. Some back and forth before Xbox vertical suplexed TNT to the outside. A cluster ensued as all 4 were beating each other up on the outside. All 4 rolled in the ring, the ref restored order, and TNT tagged to Booty.

For the next 5 or so minutes Xbox was outsmarting Booty. I think Booty's anger got the better of him as he was making too many mistakes and paying for them. Finally Booty slams Xbox in the corner and delivers a Fisherman's Buster from the top rope! He picks Xbox up and its the BK Bomb! Only a 2.9. Booty picks Xbox up and pulls off a triple german suplex. He goes for the pin but Subby breaks up the count at 2.

Xbox tags to Subby and Subby grabs Booty, locking in the 'get out of this' submission. TNT dives in to break it up. Subby locks in a leg bar, again broken up by TNT. Booty hits the triple germans again but the pin in broken up by Xbox. Booty tags to TNT and TNT starts dominating Subby for a few minutes.

Subby pulls off a reversal on TNT, locking in an armbar. Booty breaks the hold and then starts beating up Subby. While TNT watches his partner, Xbox runs in and hits the 3 red rings on TNT sending him rolling to the outside, while Subby manages to put Booty in a submission. Booty breaks out and hits a running cross body, getting only a 2 count.

Booty tags to TNT and they double team Subby again. Subby manages to tag Xbox in and a cluster ensues as all 4 are beating each other in the ring. In the chaos, TNT rolls up Xbox and the ref dives to make the count. 1,2,3, it's over!

Winner: Booty Kall & TNT via roll up - 26 min, 17 sec

Match #5 - Bare Bear vs Mitchell

This match was full of controversy. To start with, Bear walks out to his entrance music, but for some unknown reason, Reginald Waters is accompanying him. Bear gets in the ring as Reggie stands outside the ring in his corner. Mitchell walks in, and looks at Reggie quizically. The bell rings and the match was underway.

Lots of trading blows but things started escalating when Bear grabbed a bat and cracked Mitchell in the back of the head. Obviously weakened, Bear whipped Mitchell into the barbed wire, and Mitchell was busted open at only 2 minutes into the match.

A little more brawling before Bear slams Mitchell with the golden left! He then locked in the Alpha hold but Mitchell refused to tap. Bear continues to dominate Mitchell, continually whipping him into the barbed wire and barraging him with palm strikes and neck chops. Mitchell gains an upper hand when he clocks Bear across the face with the bat, but it is short lived as Reggie throws Bear a barbed wire bat and Bear clocks Mitchell across the face with it in response.

As the brawl continued, Reggie started tinkering with the explosives outside the ring on the side Mitchell was on. Seeing its a death match, the ref couldn't stop him, plus had no idea what he was actually doing. When the explosives went off at 15 mins, it became clear. The explosion on Mitchell's side was much much larger, searing his skin and leaving him lifeless on the mat. Bear got up as the ref checked Mitchell. He was unconscious. Bear won the match.

Winner: Bare Bear via KO - 15 min

Main Event - Big Gordon vs Boomerang (Ultra Title Match)

The surprises continued in this match. The first few minutes were what we had come to expect of these two competitors. A lot of back and forth action with plenty of 1 counts. Niether able to get the upper hand.

At the 6 minute mark Gordon gained an upper hand when out of seemingly nowhere he picked Boomerang up and hit the Gordon Bomb. Boomerang managed to lift his shoulder at 2.9. A little more back and forth but then Gordon slammed Boomerang to the mat with the Volcanic Eruption. Boomerang went nowhere. 1,2,3, Gordon is your new Ultra Title champion!

Winner: Big Gordon via Volcanic Eruption - 7 min, 11 sec.

Wow, lots of surprises there, especially in the last 2 matches. Over the next week, we'll get some interviews with the wrestlers to explain some of what we saw here tonight. The new card will be put up here on the 6th of September. Hope you all had fun, and remember to return to Ultra Wrestle, it's where wrestling magic happens!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Roster: Final update

Mr. D here for our final roster update. It would have been sooner but i've been watching the fantastic Tag Team DVD the WWE has released. Steiner Brothers vs. Hase and Sasaki from 1991. Worth the price alone.

Anyway, we have 6 guys left so let's get to it!

J. M. Stryker
A long time veteran of the indy scene, JM Stryker has been signed to Ultra Wrestle. A perfectionist in the ring, Stryker strives to give the fans the best match they have ever seen on a nightly basis. Despite his dedication to the business, he is one cocky SOB. I think this quote from him says it all...

"I may not be the biggest, I may not be the fastest, I may not be the strongest, but I am the smartest, and I am the best. You see me, and it all becomes clear - you are my fan and you didn't even know it. Now, doesn't that just lift your spirits?"

His finisher, which he dubs the Emerald Fusion '09 is a Schwein that is both fast and hard hitting. Be on the lookout for Stryker's next match. According to him, you're his biggest fan.

Subby Phillips
From one self absorbed individual to the next. Subby has spent most of his life building his body up to perfection. He's a muscle toned beach bum, who makes no allusions about enjoying certain illegal substances. What makes him different than every other narcissistic built pot head in professional wrestling? How about that his entire moveset consists of submission holds. Subby likes to go at his own pace, and with his deadly arsenal of holds, he can slow anyone down. His finisher, dubbed 'Get out of this' is a bat-hanging lock that has weakened and injured most of the roster. Subby has no real goals or aspirations for his career in Ultra Wrestle, but he seems to enjoy wrestling, and he can be quite competent at it when he wants to be.

He's TNT, he's dynamite (I made that joke so you don't have to)! TNT is young, agile, strong, he has a goatee. Yup, this is one guy who hasn't found his voice yet. I signed him for his phenomenal in ring ability but the man is almost devoid of personality when doing anything but wrestling. Hopefully he'll learn the skills here he needs to take him to the next level. His finisher he calls 'Where's the Kaboom?', which is his own version of the guillotine crusher. See, he obviously has a sense of humour. We'll try working with him folks. In the meantime, enjoy him in the ring, and ignore him if he gets near a microphone.

El Turnipo
El Turnipo is a lucky kid. Since applying to Ultra Wrestle, wanting to become a pro wrestler, he's been taken under the wing of the Psycho Amigo, Los Bombola and myself. He has a lot of talent and is getting better match by match (especially with our tutelage). He still has a long way to go however, but he is able to put on a good show with almost anybody in the fed. He hasn't named his finisher yet, but he decided to emulate Super Delfin and use the Osaka Stunner. Turnip is a little naive, but is willing to learn from those with more experience. We wish him the best in Ultra Wrestle (and i'm not saying that just because he's my student).

Lord Xbox
Now i love the video games, but i'm embarrassed by a certain type of gamer. Lord Xbox is that gamer. He's cocky, obnoxious, he smack talks during matches, and he thinks he's better than anyone on the roster. He also shows off too much in the ring. Granted he's a tough customer and he can back up a lot of what he says, but the idea of being a good sport is a foreign concept to him. Plus as a wrestler, he really should take some time and keep in shape. His finisher is called 'The Three Red Rings', and is a Grand Salsa Auto which has put more than one opponent out of commission. Xbox is good friends with Subby Phillips, but the laid back nature of Subby never seems to wear off on him. We can only hope that over time it will.

Now I did explain in the last update that we only signed Rick to get his friend and tag team partner Yob. Yob is worth it. Agile and full of power, his in ring style is always entertaining. On the mic, he's talkative and captivating but like his partner, he can be quite the vain douchebag. They do call their tag team The Pretty Boys after all. Yob also fancies himself a musician and so calls his finisher The Power Chord (really, its all he knows how to play). It's a Tornado DDT off the second rope. Together they make a good tag team, and Yob is a great singles competitor, but his arrogance often allienates the fans... his arrogance, and that guy he hangs around with.

Well... that's the Ultra Wrestle roster. I hope you have an idea now of the talent and personalities that make up this great fed. Next week I'll post our first card which will be next weekend. Stay tuned!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Roster part 3

Hey there again Ultra Wrestle junkies. In this, part 3 of our roster bio extravagansa, we introduce 5 more of our great wrestlers. Let's get this party started!

Parachute McGilacuddy
Oh boy, where do I begin? Everything about this guy is an offense to all that is good and decent (not the least of which is that horrendous gut). It may or may not surprise you to know that Parachute McGilaCuddy spent a couple years on the street, and quite a few more in therapy. He calls his finisher the 'Run Run its Chavo' which is a harsh Murder Backdrop. He claims that it keeps Chavo Guerrero away. Ah yes, Parachute is quite into conspiracy theories and believes that the high flyer from the WWE is responsible for the deaths of most professional wrestlers. Flamboyant, completely deranged, and very nasty in the ring, Parachute McGilacuddy is not someone who's bad side you want to be on. Better yet, it's probably safer to avoid him altogether.

Reginald Waters
Sir Reginald Waters the Third is a classically trained British brawler. He ventured over to the United States years ago after a lack of competition on his home turf. His aristocratic upbringing and cocky demeanour have not endeared him to Americans however, as he believes he is not only above them, but above the sport he has dedicated his life to (try figuring that one out). His finisher the Upper Class is the strongest lariat i've ever seen in the business. Reginald is not a good sport or a nice man. He is however one hell of a good wrestler and will take any challenge thrown at him. One to watch at a safe distance.

It's Rick, just plain Rick. Rick was part of a deal for signing his tag team partner and best friend Yob. Oh sure he has some ability, but man you have never met a more narcissistic person in your life... that and we really just wanted Yob. Large, a stiff worker, and mean, Rick takes pleasure in hurting his opponents. His finisher the Broken Mirror is a Pedegree, usually followed by a suplex and a pin. To tell you the truth, we wouldn't mind Rick half as much if he didn't wear such tight pants.

The Serpent
The Serpent is an MMA fighter from Sudan, who has decided to try his hand at professional wrestling. Meeting him in Japan, I signed him to the fed soon after, being very impressed with his versatility, and his brutality. Still learning the English language, Serpent only talks in small bursts if at all, but one thing is clear, step in a ring with him, you will get hurt. His finisher the Cobra Strike is a swift Kenta Kick to the skull which has knocked out numerous opponents and even resulted in a couple concusions. Every now and then, Serpent gets the MMA itch so we have an octogonal cage on standby, but most of the time, a deathmatch is enough to feed his need for violence.

Simon Destructo
The other half of the tag team Devastation. Even though Simon and Blue Lion's places of birth were separated by the Atlantic ocean, once they met in Ultra Wrestle, they found and formed a kinship, as if they'd been brothers their whole lives. Simon Destructo is a bit of an oddball. He trained in mat wrestling, Lucha, and MMA, but his secret passion is Baseball. He wears his jersey everywhere, and even named his finisher the You Are Out (which is a Styles Crush rolled over into a pin). Simon seems to have the talent to be a top singles competitor in Ultra Wrestle, but his loyalty to his tag team partner has stopped that from ever crossing his mind.

Next update, the final 6 wrestlers of the Ultra Wrestle roster. Shortly after that, we'll post our first card and then it's on with the wrestling. Stay tuned!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Roster part 2

Hello again folks. Mr. D here with another post introducing our roster. Nothing really left to say, so let's get to it!

Bare Bear
A mysterious cage fighter from Mongolia. Does Bear wear the mask and fur of the Gobi Bear for some shamanistic purpose? Is it to inspire fear in his opponents? Is it that his face is more horrendously scarred than his body? Whatever the answer, you won't get it from Bear. Expressing himself with body language and a series of grunts and growls, Bear is a man of few words but gets his message across perfectly. Combining martial arts with a harsh puroresu type wrestling style, Bear is a force of nature within Ultra Wrestle. His finisher, 'The Bear Facts of Life' is a swift and solid punch to the solar plexis that will drop any wrestler on the spot. Its name suggests Bear has a sense of humour. Its execution proves that its quite dark.

Blue Lion
He comes from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. The Blue Lion became famous throughout the north of Europe (Norway, Sweden & Finland) as a formidable, and devastating wrestling opponent. Now he's looking to make a name for himself in North America. One half of the tag team Devastation, Blue Lion does not speak much, having his partner Simon Destructo speak for him. His finisher, the Antelope Gutter, is a picture perfect Northern Lights Bomb. Why is he blue? While most working here at Ultra Wrestle think it's just body paint, we've never seen him without it. No nonsense and always down to business, Blue Lion is one to keep an eye on.

Los Bombola
Los Bombola, the flying fatman. Trainer of the Psycho Amigo, Bombola has been an active competitor for over 25 years in Mexico and the US. Defying the laws of gravity on a nightly basis, Bombola has always been a fan favourite and never fails to put on a spectacular show. Lately he has become concerned with his weight and has been trying hard to lose it through various diets. The lack of his beloved junk foods has started to show in his in-ring performances, where a mean streak is emerging. His finisher the Chocolate Rain has to be seen to be believed. A Corkscrew Moonsault Press, launched off his standing opponent.

Booty Kall
He loves wrestling almost as much as he loves the ladies. An amatuer wrestler through high school and university (with a brief stint in MMA), Booty Kall has honed his skills to be at the top of his game. Arrogant, brash, and containing one hell of a mean streak, Booty Kall will do what he can to be the best in Ultra Wrestle. His finisher, the BK Bomb, which is a Samurai Power Bomb, will end most matches immediatly. Entertaining in and outside the ring, Booty Kall has quite a career ahead of him.

Big Gordon
The English all rounder. Gordon has won the Ultra Title, held his own in various deathmatches, and almost injured more than one opponent with the deadly Gordon Bomb. Jovial and friendly outside the ring, all business inside it. Gordon was trained to make use of his power, before leaving England to seek noteriety amongst the American indy circuit. Now in Ultra Wrestle, he can hone his skills in multiple areas, though at the moment his sights are set on the Ultra Title that Boomerang won off him many months ago.

More bios of the Ultra Wrestle roster next post. Keep visiting the Ultra Wrestle blog. Your one stop shop for all things Ultra Wrestle.