Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Roster: Final update

Mr. D here for our final roster update. It would have been sooner but i've been watching the fantastic Tag Team DVD the WWE has released. Steiner Brothers vs. Hase and Sasaki from 1991. Worth the price alone.

Anyway, we have 6 guys left so let's get to it!

J. M. Stryker
A long time veteran of the indy scene, JM Stryker has been signed to Ultra Wrestle. A perfectionist in the ring, Stryker strives to give the fans the best match they have ever seen on a nightly basis. Despite his dedication to the business, he is one cocky SOB. I think this quote from him says it all...

"I may not be the biggest, I may not be the fastest, I may not be the strongest, but I am the smartest, and I am the best. You see me, and it all becomes clear - you are my fan and you didn't even know it. Now, doesn't that just lift your spirits?"

His finisher, which he dubs the Emerald Fusion '09 is a Schwein that is both fast and hard hitting. Be on the lookout for Stryker's next match. According to him, you're his biggest fan.

Subby Phillips
From one self absorbed individual to the next. Subby has spent most of his life building his body up to perfection. He's a muscle toned beach bum, who makes no allusions about enjoying certain illegal substances. What makes him different than every other narcissistic built pot head in professional wrestling? How about that his entire moveset consists of submission holds. Subby likes to go at his own pace, and with his deadly arsenal of holds, he can slow anyone down. His finisher, dubbed 'Get out of this' is a bat-hanging lock that has weakened and injured most of the roster. Subby has no real goals or aspirations for his career in Ultra Wrestle, but he seems to enjoy wrestling, and he can be quite competent at it when he wants to be.

He's TNT, he's dynamite (I made that joke so you don't have to)! TNT is young, agile, strong, he has a goatee. Yup, this is one guy who hasn't found his voice yet. I signed him for his phenomenal in ring ability but the man is almost devoid of personality when doing anything but wrestling. Hopefully he'll learn the skills here he needs to take him to the next level. His finisher he calls 'Where's the Kaboom?', which is his own version of the guillotine crusher. See, he obviously has a sense of humour. We'll try working with him folks. In the meantime, enjoy him in the ring, and ignore him if he gets near a microphone.

El Turnipo
El Turnipo is a lucky kid. Since applying to Ultra Wrestle, wanting to become a pro wrestler, he's been taken under the wing of the Psycho Amigo, Los Bombola and myself. He has a lot of talent and is getting better match by match (especially with our tutelage). He still has a long way to go however, but he is able to put on a good show with almost anybody in the fed. He hasn't named his finisher yet, but he decided to emulate Super Delfin and use the Osaka Stunner. Turnip is a little naive, but is willing to learn from those with more experience. We wish him the best in Ultra Wrestle (and i'm not saying that just because he's my student).

Lord Xbox
Now i love the video games, but i'm embarrassed by a certain type of gamer. Lord Xbox is that gamer. He's cocky, obnoxious, he smack talks during matches, and he thinks he's better than anyone on the roster. He also shows off too much in the ring. Granted he's a tough customer and he can back up a lot of what he says, but the idea of being a good sport is a foreign concept to him. Plus as a wrestler, he really should take some time and keep in shape. His finisher is called 'The Three Red Rings', and is a Grand Salsa Auto which has put more than one opponent out of commission. Xbox is good friends with Subby Phillips, but the laid back nature of Subby never seems to wear off on him. We can only hope that over time it will.

Now I did explain in the last update that we only signed Rick to get his friend and tag team partner Yob. Yob is worth it. Agile and full of power, his in ring style is always entertaining. On the mic, he's talkative and captivating but like his partner, he can be quite the vain douchebag. They do call their tag team The Pretty Boys after all. Yob also fancies himself a musician and so calls his finisher The Power Chord (really, its all he knows how to play). It's a Tornado DDT off the second rope. Together they make a good tag team, and Yob is a great singles competitor, but his arrogance often allienates the fans... his arrogance, and that guy he hangs around with.

Well... that's the Ultra Wrestle roster. I hope you have an idea now of the talent and personalities that make up this great fed. Next week I'll post our first card which will be next weekend. Stay tuned!

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