Match #1 - Boomerang vs Subby Phillips
Boomerang was being punished for yet another week. This week his opponent was the master of submissions, Subby Phillips.
Subby was his usual self, showing off his submission prowess all through the match. Boomerang got tired of it very quickly however and began locking in his own submissions in the form of Boston Crabs, Sharpshooters and Figure Fours. Subby was able to get out of every single one but they were visibly wearing him down.
Around the 15 minute mark, Subby locked in the GOOT (Get out of this. I'm calling it the GOOT from now on). Boomerang was able to worm his way out of it and the match continued.
More submissions, more reversals. Finally Boomerang locked in the Triangle Scissors. Subby must have been too worn out to counter. Without any way to break the hold at the ropes, his only choice was to tap, giving Boomerang yet another win.
Boomerang yelled at the ringside staff for a microphone. This is what he said...
"Oi Mr. Douchebag, that's twice in a row you've put me in the opening match and that's twice i've destroyed your lower card. The next time this happens, i'm gonna injure somebody. All i want is my rematch with Fatty Gordon. The rest, well that's in your hands."
Boomerang threw the mic at Subby and returned to the back.
Winner: Boomerang via Triangle Scissors - 18 min 11 sec
Match #2 - The Pretty Boys vs Los Turnipos
Tonight was the debut of Los Turnipos. Los Bombola and El Turnipo have teamed before but have decided to register an official tag team with Ultra Wrestle, and their first match was against Yob and Rick.
If anything, this match was a showcase of El Turnipos talent. Most of the match he was the legal man voluntarily.
The match started slow with some quick tags, and both sides feeling out the competition. Things got interesting when Turnipo and Yob were fighting, and Rick jumped in for a cheapshot. After a whip into the turnbuckle, Turnipo set Rick up for a Super Hurricanrana. As he jumped up to execute it, Rick grabbed his shoulders and slammed him to the mat. Yob quickly capatilized with a pin but only got a 2 count.
More back and forth action. Rick tagged in Yob and surprisingly, Yob ignored Turnipo, slid under the ropes and pulled Bombola off the apron, attacking him before sliding in reversing Turnipo's attack and pining. Bombola dived in the ring, breaking the count at 2.
Yob tagged in Rick. More moves being traded off before Turnipo hit Rick with the Osaka Stunner (his finishing move)! Turnipo jumped to the top rope and performed a spectacular 450 senton splash. Not done yet, he picked Rick up and hit him with a standing Hurricanrana into a pin. Yob had run in the ring during the senton so easily broke up the pin when it happened. Yob bulldogged Turnipo into the mat before returning to his corner. Rick gets up and tried to pick up Turnipo. Reversal into a pin, sadly now that Rick had regained his bearings, only a 2 count.
Around the half hour mark, fighting broke out on the outside. Rick levelled Bombola before he and Yob worked Turnipo over with a couple of steel chair shots.
Rick continued the assault of Turnipo in the ring with a Bridging German Suplex Pin. a 2.9 count. Angrily he hit Turnipo with a Throwing German Suplex which almost knocked the poor kid out.
After 10 more minutes of attack and being unable to pin Turnipo, the bell rang. The 45 minutes allowed for this tag match was over. Yob and Rick, being pissed off double teamed Turnipo with a pick up Diamond Cutter. Bombola ran in to help his partner and got the same for his trouble.
Yob and Rick were about to leave when Mr. D walked out with a mic.
"Oh no, with a match like that, we're not leaving it there. We need a winner!"
Yob and Rick started to sneer thinking that the match would be continued.
"Next week you two will compete in the main event, and like every main event, there will be no time limit. Also, if either of you lay a hand on each other between the next show, i will fine you $5000"
The crowd cheered as Mr D. left. Yob and Rick stormed off to the back as Bombola and Turnipo recovered.
Winner: Time Out - 45 mins
Match #3 - Bare Bear vs Lord Xbox
A quick brutal match.
Xbox dominated most of the fight with Bear getting some nasty shots in, but never being able to gain the upper hand.
One really nice spot was Xbox attacking Bear with a striking combo before climbing the turnbuckle and pulling off a beautiful flying elbow. Randy Savage would be proud.
After more heavy hits and suplexes, Xbox hit the 3 Red Rings, and Bear wasn't moving. Senior Official Mustafa checked Bear. He was unconscious. Xbox was declared the winner. As he walked to the back, a medical team came out and put Bear on a stretcher. More news later in the week as we learn of his condition.
Winner: Lord Xbox via KO - 8 min 13 sec
Match #4 - Booty Kall vs TNT
After being shut out of the main event picture last show thanks to Booty Kall, TNT went to Mr. D and signed a singles match, hoping to get the upper hand and some modicum of revenge.
Booty and TNT have similar fighting styles and technical background so it should come as no surprise that the match was full of reversals, matwork, pinfalls, and hard hitting slams.
The hard hits took a step up around the 5 minute mark when TNT slammed Booty into the mat with a Super Reverse Hurricanrana. Only got a 1 count however.
Both wrestlers use the Flying Knee as a signature move. At one point in the match, after both running into the ropes, they both executed Flying Knees, missing each other. The crowd applauded.
At around 10 minutes, Booty throws TNT out of the ring, following it up with a Throwing German Suplex on the wood! TNT responds with a reverse DDT followed by an Enziguri.
After many slams and near falls Booty Kall hit the BK Bomb for the 3 count. Booty helped TNT to his feet afterwards, and extended his hand in friendship. TNT looked hesitant but shook it, before raising Booty's hand in victory. The two exited to the back.
Winner: Booty Kall via BK Bomb - 14 min 32 sec
Match #5 - Parachute McGilacuddy vs Mitchel - Landmine Deathmatch
Yet another in the parade of Reginald's opponents to destroy Mitchell. Parachute McGilacuddy and Mitchel have fought before and this time proved to be no less brutal. Due to the exploding barbed wire around ringside, Reginald walked out with Parachute, but stayed at the entrance, surveying the match.
A lot of punches and chops being traded until Parachute hit Mitchel with the RRIC (Run Run it's Chavo). Not content to leave it there, he hit Mitchel with another one, but couldn't get even a 1 count.
Mitchel tried using his Sickle attack on Parachute, but the helmet was adequate protection.
Parachute pulled off the Reverse Gory Bomb and pinned for 2.
About 10 minutes in, Mitchell was busted open by a florescent tube to the face.
A couple more pinfall attempts from Parachute to no avail. Finally Parachute locked on a Flying X Arm Hold out of nowhere. Mitchell looked to be trying to squirm under the ropes to the outside to get out of the hold. Reginald ran down to the ring, picked up a barbed wire bat laying on the outside of the ring and clocked Mitchell right in the head. Mitchell being knocked out led the ref to raise his hand to see if it would drop. It was raised 3 times, it dropped 3 times.
Not content with Mitchel being knocked out. Reginald dived in the ring, and then with the help of Parachute, threw him outside onto the barbed wire explosives!
The two walked to the back leaving the medical team to look after Mitchell.
Winner: Parachute McGilacuddy via Flying X Arm Hold - 16 min 44 sec
Main Event - J.M. Styker vs Big Gordon - Ultra Title Match
Folks, in my opinion, this was the best wrestling match i've seen in the short life of Ultra Wrestle. Not only was it Big Gordon's first title defense after defeating Boomerang on our first show, but J.M. Stryker's first shot at the main event picture, and the vibe was that he had something not only to prove to the fans, but to Big Gordon too.
The match started with the two testing out each other. A Body Slam here, a clothesline there. Styker even pulled off the Rolly Polly. He definitely was showing off. It paid off though as only 6 minutes in he hit the Emerald Fusion 09 on Gordon. Only a 2 count. He did it again! Still a 2 count.
This is when Big Gordon started to take the match seriously... and he got mean. European uppercuts, Forearm slams, Pile Drivers. Then the cue de grace, a Powerbomb into the ringpost!
This is when Gordon started to dominate the match. After a partularly nasty slam, Gordon went up to the top rope, deliving a Foot Stomp right onto the back of Stryker, follwed by a Vertical Suplex over the ropes to the outside.
After some back and forth on the outside and then back in the ring, Stryker got some momentum back with a Shining Wizard, followed by a pin. Almost, a 2.9. Gordon countered with the Gordon Bomb. We all thought this was it. Stryker kicked out at 2.9! Stryker countered that with a Throwing German Suplex that sent Big Gordon out of the ring!
After more back and forth, Stryker whipped Gordon into the ropes, and hit him in the face with a Fireball. He set Gordon up for another Emerald Fusion 09, but Gordon slid out of it, kicked Stryker in the stomach and hit another Gordon Bomb! 1,2,3! Big Gordon retained his title.
The crowd were on their feet by the end of this, cheering what has to be one of the best wrestling matches of the year. Hopefully Styker will get another shot at the title, but with Boomerang wanting a rematch, we'll just have to wait and see. Tune in for our next show. It's probably going to be just as amazing.
Winner: Big Gordon via Gordon Bomb - 22 min 35 sec
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Card #3 - Where did all the Money go?
18/10/19
Where did all the Money go?
Match #1
Boomerang vs Subby Phillips
Match #2
The Pretty Boys vs Los Turnipos
Match #3
Bare Bear vs Lord Xbox
Match #4
Booty Kall vs TNT
Match #5 - Exploding Deathmatch
Parachute McGilacuddy vs Mitchell
Main Event - Ultra Title Match
J.M. Stryker vs Big Gordon
Where did all the Money go?
Match #1
Boomerang vs Subby Phillips
Match #2
The Pretty Boys vs Los Turnipos
Match #3
Bare Bear vs Lord Xbox
Match #4
Booty Kall vs TNT
Match #5 - Exploding Deathmatch
Parachute McGilacuddy vs Mitchell
Main Event - Ultra Title Match
J.M. Stryker vs Big Gordon
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Results from Card #2
Match #1 - Boomerang vs Los Bombola
Boomerang walked down to the ring with his music and grabbed a microphone. The gist of his insulting diatribe was that Mr. D needed to come out and explain why he was fighting a lowlife at the beginning of the card. Mr D walked out and explained to Boomerang that his threats and behaviour would not be tolerated, so as long as he was making trouble, he'd be fighting in the opening match. Boomerang was heading up towards the entrance most likely to assault Mr. D when Los Bombola walked out, attacking Boomerang, throwing him into the ring and starting the match.
If Boomerang wanted to send a message to Mr. D however, this match certainly did the trick. Bombola got a couple of moves in, but basically it was nothing but domination from Boomerang. For most of the match, Boomerang tried to make Bombola sumbit with a sharpshooter, but finally after a lot of punishment and a Dingo Drop, the 3 count hit.
Winner: Boomerang via the Dingo Drop - 10 min, 35 sec
Match #2 - El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips
A valiant effort by El Turnipo but his inexperience in the ring was quite evident in this match. Subby spent most of the bout reversing Turnipo's moves, and showing off his great knowledge of submission holds. Finally it was too much for Turnipo to take and he tapped. I hope Subby is happy with himself.
Winner: Subby Phillips via Torture Cobra Twist - 15 min, 54 sec
Match #3 - The Serpent vs Mitchell
Mitchell came down to the ring first and entered. The Serpent walked down with Reginald Waters escorting him. The Serpent got in the ring and Reginald tried to follow. Mustafa prevented him from entering and locked the cage. Outraged, Reginald paced around the outside of the cage yelling at Mitchell.
The match was almost the exact opposite of Mitchell's fight with Bare Bear. Mitchell dominated The Serpent like we've never seen. His edge was most certainly given to him at the start of the match, when he revealed that he'd brought his own weapons. Using a sickle and a fork, Serpent was bleeding all over the ring in short time. From there Mitchell used a variety of hard strikes, submission moves, and attacks from the singapore cane already in the ring. After every blow, Mitchell would glare in Reginald's direction. Mitchell locked on the Fuyuki Special. After all this punishment, Serpent did not tap. In fact the move had rendered him unconscious. Mustafa lifted his arm to test, and on the 3rd drop, Mitchell was declared the winner. The cage was unlocked, and Reginald escaped into the crowd before Mitchell could get to him.
winner: Mitchel via Fuyuki Special - 16 min, 43 sec
Match #4 - Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy
This is about as even a fight as you can get between a vain fatman and a sexual deviant. Blows, throws and strikes were traded back and forth for almost 20 minutes. Plenty of two counts and plenty of kick outs. Nothing could keep either competitor down. Finally Parachute reversed a strike into the Reverse Gory Special and picked up the win.
Winner: Parachute McGilacuddy via Reverse Gory Special Bomb - 17 min, 10 sec.
Match #5 - J.M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob (Ultra Title #1 contender's match)
To quote the WWE's Good ole JR, this was one hell of a slobberknocker. For the first 5 minutes you couldn't tell what was happening, it was just a tangle and a mess of bodies wailing on each other. There were a few devastating double teams and lots of near falls, but Booty Kall was on fire. Around the 10 minute mark he eliminated both Yob and TNT with the BK Bomb, one shortly after the other. Stryker was no slouch though, and for the remainder of the match, Booty and Stryker tore up the ring in an amazing display of wrestling. The match ended when Booty whipped Stryker into the ropes. Stryker reversed the whip and when Booty came back, Stryker hit Booty in the face with a huge fireball. Booty writhing in agony on the mat, Stryker locked on the Kido clutch and Booty Kall tapped to it.
Winner: JM Stryker via Kido Clutch 15 min, 49 sec
Match #6 - The Condors vs Devastation (Tag Title Match)
These two teams have met many times in Ultra Wrestle and both have won the tag belts off the other before. It was speed vs strength as it seemed that Lion and Destructo were dominating Trebor and Amigo, but their speed and reversal ability would pay off, gaining reprive or breaking up the pin. We had a close call with a 2 count as Lion kicked out of the Tiny Drop at the last second. Also when the match spilled to the outside, Amigo hit Destructo with the Reverse Plantation (although both were not the legal men). It ended when Destructo was able to hit the You Are Out on Amigo in the center of the ring. Trebor ran in to break up the count but Lion rushed to the ring and knocked him down with a clothesline. 1,2,3, Devastation are your new tag champs!
Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 21 min, 19 sec
Boomerang walked down to the ring with his music and grabbed a microphone. The gist of his insulting diatribe was that Mr. D needed to come out and explain why he was fighting a lowlife at the beginning of the card. Mr D walked out and explained to Boomerang that his threats and behaviour would not be tolerated, so as long as he was making trouble, he'd be fighting in the opening match. Boomerang was heading up towards the entrance most likely to assault Mr. D when Los Bombola walked out, attacking Boomerang, throwing him into the ring and starting the match.
If Boomerang wanted to send a message to Mr. D however, this match certainly did the trick. Bombola got a couple of moves in, but basically it was nothing but domination from Boomerang. For most of the match, Boomerang tried to make Bombola sumbit with a sharpshooter, but finally after a lot of punishment and a Dingo Drop, the 3 count hit.
Winner: Boomerang via the Dingo Drop - 10 min, 35 sec
Match #2 - El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips
A valiant effort by El Turnipo but his inexperience in the ring was quite evident in this match. Subby spent most of the bout reversing Turnipo's moves, and showing off his great knowledge of submission holds. Finally it was too much for Turnipo to take and he tapped. I hope Subby is happy with himself.
Winner: Subby Phillips via Torture Cobra Twist - 15 min, 54 sec
Match #3 - The Serpent vs Mitchell
Mitchell came down to the ring first and entered. The Serpent walked down with Reginald Waters escorting him. The Serpent got in the ring and Reginald tried to follow. Mustafa prevented him from entering and locked the cage. Outraged, Reginald paced around the outside of the cage yelling at Mitchell.
The match was almost the exact opposite of Mitchell's fight with Bare Bear. Mitchell dominated The Serpent like we've never seen. His edge was most certainly given to him at the start of the match, when he revealed that he'd brought his own weapons. Using a sickle and a fork, Serpent was bleeding all over the ring in short time. From there Mitchell used a variety of hard strikes, submission moves, and attacks from the singapore cane already in the ring. After every blow, Mitchell would glare in Reginald's direction. Mitchell locked on the Fuyuki Special. After all this punishment, Serpent did not tap. In fact the move had rendered him unconscious. Mustafa lifted his arm to test, and on the 3rd drop, Mitchell was declared the winner. The cage was unlocked, and Reginald escaped into the crowd before Mitchell could get to him.
winner: Mitchel via Fuyuki Special - 16 min, 43 sec
Match #4 - Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy
This is about as even a fight as you can get between a vain fatman and a sexual deviant. Blows, throws and strikes were traded back and forth for almost 20 minutes. Plenty of two counts and plenty of kick outs. Nothing could keep either competitor down. Finally Parachute reversed a strike into the Reverse Gory Special and picked up the win.
Winner: Parachute McGilacuddy via Reverse Gory Special Bomb - 17 min, 10 sec.
Match #5 - J.M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob (Ultra Title #1 contender's match)
To quote the WWE's Good ole JR, this was one hell of a slobberknocker. For the first 5 minutes you couldn't tell what was happening, it was just a tangle and a mess of bodies wailing on each other. There were a few devastating double teams and lots of near falls, but Booty Kall was on fire. Around the 10 minute mark he eliminated both Yob and TNT with the BK Bomb, one shortly after the other. Stryker was no slouch though, and for the remainder of the match, Booty and Stryker tore up the ring in an amazing display of wrestling. The match ended when Booty whipped Stryker into the ropes. Stryker reversed the whip and when Booty came back, Stryker hit Booty in the face with a huge fireball. Booty writhing in agony on the mat, Stryker locked on the Kido clutch and Booty Kall tapped to it.
Winner: JM Stryker via Kido Clutch 15 min, 49 sec
Match #6 - The Condors vs Devastation (Tag Title Match)
These two teams have met many times in Ultra Wrestle and both have won the tag belts off the other before. It was speed vs strength as it seemed that Lion and Destructo were dominating Trebor and Amigo, but their speed and reversal ability would pay off, gaining reprive or breaking up the pin. We had a close call with a 2 count as Lion kicked out of the Tiny Drop at the last second. Also when the match spilled to the outside, Amigo hit Destructo with the Reverse Plantation (although both were not the legal men). It ended when Destructo was able to hit the You Are Out on Amigo in the center of the ring. Trebor ran in to break up the count but Lion rushed to the ring and knocked him down with a clothesline. 1,2,3, Devastation are your new tag champs!
Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 21 min, 19 sec
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Card #2 - Dawning Realization
06/09/09
Dawning Realisation
Match #1
Boomerang vs Los Bombola
Match #2
El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips
Match #3 - Cage Match
The Serpent (accompanied by Reginald Waters) vs Mitchell
Match #4
Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy
Match #5 - Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender's Match
J. M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob
Main Event - Ultra Tag Match
The Condors vs Devastation
Dawning Realisation
Match #1
Boomerang vs Los Bombola
Match #2
El Turnipo vs Subby Phillips
Match #3 - Cage Match
The Serpent (accompanied by Reginald Waters) vs Mitchell
Match #4
Rick vs Parachute McGilacuddy
Match #5 - Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender's Match
J. M. Stryker vs Booty Kall vs TNT vs Yob
Main Event - Ultra Tag Match
The Condors vs Devastation
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Interview - Boomerang
KR: Hi everyone! This is Kirsten Reeds here with ex Ultra Wrestle champ Boomerang. So the question on the minds of all is how you're coping with losing to Big Gordon last week?
BOOM: How am i coping? How does it feel to lose to Big Gordon? How does it feel? You jerks are all broken records! So sure of yourselves now that your hero has the title back. You think i'm out of the picture, end of story, roll credits? If you knew anything, you'd realise a movie has three acts and as i recall, there's only been two. I beat Big Gordon, Big Gordon beats me. One a piece, so i think there needs to be a decider, and if Mr. D has any balls at all, he will set this up! See, until i get my rematch, i'm going to be the biggest badass this company has seen. Everyone will know what it means to get on my bad side! And when the chairman has finally seen sense and i get my rematch, we will be departing from the standard Hollywood ending, because the hero will not be walking away into the sunset.
Believe it Big Gordon for my name is Boomerang, and I. Always. Come. Back!
BOOM: How am i coping? How does it feel to lose to Big Gordon? How does it feel? You jerks are all broken records! So sure of yourselves now that your hero has the title back. You think i'm out of the picture, end of story, roll credits? If you knew anything, you'd realise a movie has three acts and as i recall, there's only been two. I beat Big Gordon, Big Gordon beats me. One a piece, so i think there needs to be a decider, and if Mr. D has any balls at all, he will set this up! See, until i get my rematch, i'm going to be the biggest badass this company has seen. Everyone will know what it means to get on my bad side! And when the chairman has finally seen sense and i get my rematch, we will be departing from the standard Hollywood ending, because the hero will not be walking away into the sunset.
Believe it Big Gordon for my name is Boomerang, and I. Always. Come. Back!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Interview - Reginald Waters
BW: Hi folks, this is Buck Winhurst here with Sir Reginald Waters the third. Now Reggie... can i call you Reggie?
SRW: *sigh* I'd prefer if you didn't but i guess you can't escape the environment you were brought up in.
BW: Ok. Well Reggie, fans of Ultra Wrestle are all wanting to know what happened at Numero Uno. Let's start at the beginning. Why were you accompanying Bare Bear to the ring?
SRW: Well you see ...Buck, i only enlisted the services of my ursine companion for that evening. Ultra Wrestle has plenty of sociopaths who enjoy the carnage of the deathmatch and i shall keep enlisting their services and aiding them in any way possible until i fufill my original goal.
BW: Well i guess the next logical question would be what that goal might be.
SRW: Very astute of you indeed young Buck. My goal is the retirement of that overweight, out of shape disgrace to the sport of professional wrestling, Mitchell. That man is an abomination. He is the epitome of american decadance and entitlement. I have worked my whole life to achieve my goals in the squared circle, and i shall continue to do so. It's one of the calling cards of us British wrestlers. Look at my fellow countryman Big Gordon. He won the ultra title off that obnoxious Australian hooligan last week. Mitchell exerts no effort in the ring and yet he holds the Ultra Crazy title and consistantly wins. Well no more i say, no more.
BW: But seeing that he wins consistantly, wouldn't that show the level of talent Mitchell posesses?
SRW: Talent? Oh dear. You poor deluded fool. Every wrestling fan with half a brain knows match outcomes are predetermined, well no longer. Mitchell was supposed to win the match at Numero Uno, and i made sure he didn't, as i will continue to do so until that belt is off his waist. Mark my words young Buck, and mark them well, when i'm through with Mitchell, retirement will almost be a certainty. Ah ha ha.
BW: Well, those were some illuminating words from Sir Reginald Waters. I guess we'll see what he has in store for the Ultra Crazy champion on the next show. Until then, i'm Buck Winhurst. You folks enjoy your week.
SRW: *sigh* I'd prefer if you didn't but i guess you can't escape the environment you were brought up in.
BW: Ok. Well Reggie, fans of Ultra Wrestle are all wanting to know what happened at Numero Uno. Let's start at the beginning. Why were you accompanying Bare Bear to the ring?
SRW: Well you see ...Buck, i only enlisted the services of my ursine companion for that evening. Ultra Wrestle has plenty of sociopaths who enjoy the carnage of the deathmatch and i shall keep enlisting their services and aiding them in any way possible until i fufill my original goal.
BW: Well i guess the next logical question would be what that goal might be.
SRW: Very astute of you indeed young Buck. My goal is the retirement of that overweight, out of shape disgrace to the sport of professional wrestling, Mitchell. That man is an abomination. He is the epitome of american decadance and entitlement. I have worked my whole life to achieve my goals in the squared circle, and i shall continue to do so. It's one of the calling cards of us British wrestlers. Look at my fellow countryman Big Gordon. He won the ultra title off that obnoxious Australian hooligan last week. Mitchell exerts no effort in the ring and yet he holds the Ultra Crazy title and consistantly wins. Well no more i say, no more.
BW: But seeing that he wins consistantly, wouldn't that show the level of talent Mitchell posesses?
SRW: Talent? Oh dear. You poor deluded fool. Every wrestling fan with half a brain knows match outcomes are predetermined, well no longer. Mitchell was supposed to win the match at Numero Uno, and i made sure he didn't, as i will continue to do so until that belt is off his waist. Mark my words young Buck, and mark them well, when i'm through with Mitchell, retirement will almost be a certainty. Ah ha ha.
BW: Well, those were some illuminating words from Sir Reginald Waters. I guess we'll see what he has in store for the Ultra Crazy champion on the next show. Until then, i'm Buck Winhurst. You folks enjoy your week.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Results from Card #1
Heya all. Wow, what a show that was. I think we've really cemented ourselves as a force in the world of professional wrestling.
Here's how things went down...
Match #1 - El Turnipo vs Los Bombola
A great bout to start off the night. These two traded high flying moves for most of the match, with things heating up with a top rope huricanrana from Turnipo. Bombola shocked the crowd with a Frog Splash as he lept half the ring to land on Turnipo, standing up and performing a standing reverse moonsault for the pin. Only a 2.9 however.
The match went on with Turnipo being dominated by Bombola. Out of desperation, Turnipo hit a standing enziguri, went for the pin, but only got a 2.9. Turnipo started putting the boot to Bombola in frustration. Bombola leaped to his feet, and launched off Turnipo for the Chocolate Rain. 1,2,3 match over.
After the pin, Los Bombola pulled Turnipo to his feet and extended his hand. Turnipo shook it, and then raised Bombola's arm in triumph before rolling out of the ring, returning to the back.
Winner: Los Bombola via Chocolate Rain - 11 min, 19 sec
Match #2 - Devastation vs. The Pretty Boys (#1 Contender's Match)
Boy was this one rough. Let's go over the spots. For most of the start of the match, Devastation was completely wailing on Rick from the Pretty Boys. Simon performed the You Are Out early, but Yob jumped in the ring to break up the count.
Simon superkicked Rick in the face, sending him over the ropes to the outside. Yob jumped in the ring and started attacking Simon as Blue Lion (BL) grabbed a chair and began attacking Rick on the outside. BL rolls Rick back into the ring, and Mustafa, the ref sent Yob back to his corner, continuing the match.
Simon consecutively pins Rick, first with a Powerbomb, and then with the You Are Out again. Yob breaks up each attempt. Simon tags out to BL. BL spits fire in Rick's face when the ref isn't looking and then proceeds to physically dissect the man for the next few minutes. Catching a lucky break, Rick gets away from Simon and makes the tag to Yob.
BL grabs Yob and hits the Antelope Gutter. Rick breaks up the count at 1. BL hits a second Antelope Gutter, picks Yob up and springboard dropkicks him to the outside. A cluster begins as all 4 wrestlers are attacking each other on the outside. BL rolls Yob and Rick into the ring, picks up a Sledgehammer and aims for Yob. Rick tries to pull BL off his partner and gets a sledgehammer in the face for his troubles. Rick rolls to the outside as Yob starts retailiating on BL. This doesn't last long however as BL hits his 3rd Antelope Gutter on Yob, only being able to get a 2 count before Yob kicks out. Yob flips up and delivers a spinning heel kick to BL's face, going for the pin and getting a 2 count.
BL manages to reach Simon to tag. Simon blocks Yob's attacks, hits the You Are Out, and before Rick can break up the pin, gets the 3 count.
Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 24 min, 28 sec
Match #3 - J. M. Stryker vs Parachute McGilacuddy
In this match we got to see the resiliance of Stryker and the nastiness of Cuddy. Like most matches, this started with some back and forth, and a couple power moves. Things took a turn for the worse when the cocky Stryker decided to pull off what i call the 'Stryker Rolly Polly', humiliating Cuddy by rolling back and forth over him. Styker picked Cuddy up but was met with a series of open hand palm strikes to the face, before being thrown outside the ring by.
Cuddy picks up a florescent tube and cracks Stryker over the head with it. From this point, for the next 5 minutes, Cuddy utterly dominates the match. Stryker finally gets the upper hand and scoop slams Cuddy out of the ring, but instead of capatilizing, he decided to show off by posing. When Cuddy rolls back in the ring, Stryker drops an Emerald Fusion. Cuddy responds with a reverse gory bomb, but only manages to get a 2 count.
After some more fighting, Cuddy takes his revenge for the Stryker Rolly Polly by putting a spell on him. He whips Stryker into the ropes but Stryker reverses, going up top and delivering a huge senton. Stryker picks up Cuddy but gets punched in the gut. Cuddy hits the Run Run its Chavo (Run Run), and then hits the reverse gory bomb. 2 count. In frustration Cuddy hits the Run Run again, locking in a bow and arrow hold, but Stryker refuses to submit.
Stryker kicks Cuddy in the gut and hits the Emerald Fusion 09! Only a 2 count. Stryker throws Cuddy out of the ring and delivers a plancha suicide over the ropes. Stryker rolls Cuddy back in and hits the Emerald Fusion 09 again! 2 count. Emerald Fusion 09! 2 count. For the 3rd time in a row, Emerald Fusion 09! Stryker has overextended himself and is too tired to make the pin. Cuddy gets to his feet, walks over to Stryker and puts the Neihan submission on him. Stryker holds out for at least a minute until finally tapping.
Winner: Parachute McGilaCuddy via Neihan - 24 min, 44 sec
Match #4 - Booty Kall & TNT vs. Subby Phillips & Lord Xbox
This was the first time these two teams had formed. Subby, while being friends with Xbox, have never fought together, and Booty and TNT were paired together for this bout.
Booty and Subby started things off with some tests of strength and a few reversals. An amusing spot happened when Subby vertical suplexed Booty out of the ring. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in as Booty rolled out. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in to applause from the crowd.
Booty tagged TNT and they double teamed Subby. Subby makes it to Xbox and tags. Some back and forth before Xbox vertical suplexed TNT to the outside. A cluster ensued as all 4 were beating each other up on the outside. All 4 rolled in the ring, the ref restored order, and TNT tagged to Booty.
For the next 5 or so minutes Xbox was outsmarting Booty. I think Booty's anger got the better of him as he was making too many mistakes and paying for them. Finally Booty slams Xbox in the corner and delivers a Fisherman's Buster from the top rope! He picks Xbox up and its the BK Bomb! Only a 2.9. Booty picks Xbox up and pulls off a triple german suplex. He goes for the pin but Subby breaks up the count at 2.
Xbox tags to Subby and Subby grabs Booty, locking in the 'get out of this' submission. TNT dives in to break it up. Subby locks in a leg bar, again broken up by TNT. Booty hits the triple germans again but the pin in broken up by Xbox. Booty tags to TNT and TNT starts dominating Subby for a few minutes.
Subby pulls off a reversal on TNT, locking in an armbar. Booty breaks the hold and then starts beating up Subby. While TNT watches his partner, Xbox runs in and hits the 3 red rings on TNT sending him rolling to the outside, while Subby manages to put Booty in a submission. Booty breaks out and hits a running cross body, getting only a 2 count.
Booty tags to TNT and they double team Subby again. Subby manages to tag Xbox in and a cluster ensues as all 4 are beating each other in the ring. In the chaos, TNT rolls up Xbox and the ref dives to make the count. 1,2,3, it's over!
Winner: Booty Kall & TNT via roll up - 26 min, 17 sec
Match #5 - Bare Bear vs Mitchell
This match was full of controversy. To start with, Bear walks out to his entrance music, but for some unknown reason, Reginald Waters is accompanying him. Bear gets in the ring as Reggie stands outside the ring in his corner. Mitchell walks in, and looks at Reggie quizically. The bell rings and the match was underway.
Lots of trading blows but things started escalating when Bear grabbed a bat and cracked Mitchell in the back of the head. Obviously weakened, Bear whipped Mitchell into the barbed wire, and Mitchell was busted open at only 2 minutes into the match.
A little more brawling before Bear slams Mitchell with the golden left! He then locked in the Alpha hold but Mitchell refused to tap. Bear continues to dominate Mitchell, continually whipping him into the barbed wire and barraging him with palm strikes and neck chops. Mitchell gains an upper hand when he clocks Bear across the face with the bat, but it is short lived as Reggie throws Bear a barbed wire bat and Bear clocks Mitchell across the face with it in response.
As the brawl continued, Reggie started tinkering with the explosives outside the ring on the side Mitchell was on. Seeing its a death match, the ref couldn't stop him, plus had no idea what he was actually doing. When the explosives went off at 15 mins, it became clear. The explosion on Mitchell's side was much much larger, searing his skin and leaving him lifeless on the mat. Bear got up as the ref checked Mitchell. He was unconscious. Bear won the match.
Winner: Bare Bear via KO - 15 min
Main Event - Big Gordon vs Boomerang (Ultra Title Match)
The surprises continued in this match. The first few minutes were what we had come to expect of these two competitors. A lot of back and forth action with plenty of 1 counts. Niether able to get the upper hand.
At the 6 minute mark Gordon gained an upper hand when out of seemingly nowhere he picked Boomerang up and hit the Gordon Bomb. Boomerang managed to lift his shoulder at 2.9. A little more back and forth but then Gordon slammed Boomerang to the mat with the Volcanic Eruption. Boomerang went nowhere. 1,2,3, Gordon is your new Ultra Title champion!
Winner: Big Gordon via Volcanic Eruption - 7 min, 11 sec.
Wow, lots of surprises there, especially in the last 2 matches. Over the next week, we'll get some interviews with the wrestlers to explain some of what we saw here tonight. The new card will be put up here on the 6th of September. Hope you all had fun, and remember to return to Ultra Wrestle, it's where wrestling magic happens!
Here's how things went down...
Match #1 - El Turnipo vs Los Bombola
A great bout to start off the night. These two traded high flying moves for most of the match, with things heating up with a top rope huricanrana from Turnipo. Bombola shocked the crowd with a Frog Splash as he lept half the ring to land on Turnipo, standing up and performing a standing reverse moonsault for the pin. Only a 2.9 however.
The match went on with Turnipo being dominated by Bombola. Out of desperation, Turnipo hit a standing enziguri, went for the pin, but only got a 2.9. Turnipo started putting the boot to Bombola in frustration. Bombola leaped to his feet, and launched off Turnipo for the Chocolate Rain. 1,2,3 match over.
After the pin, Los Bombola pulled Turnipo to his feet and extended his hand. Turnipo shook it, and then raised Bombola's arm in triumph before rolling out of the ring, returning to the back.
Winner: Los Bombola via Chocolate Rain - 11 min, 19 sec
Match #2 - Devastation vs. The Pretty Boys (#1 Contender's Match)
Boy was this one rough. Let's go over the spots. For most of the start of the match, Devastation was completely wailing on Rick from the Pretty Boys. Simon performed the You Are Out early, but Yob jumped in the ring to break up the count.
Simon superkicked Rick in the face, sending him over the ropes to the outside. Yob jumped in the ring and started attacking Simon as Blue Lion (BL) grabbed a chair and began attacking Rick on the outside. BL rolls Rick back into the ring, and Mustafa, the ref sent Yob back to his corner, continuing the match.
Simon consecutively pins Rick, first with a Powerbomb, and then with the You Are Out again. Yob breaks up each attempt. Simon tags out to BL. BL spits fire in Rick's face when the ref isn't looking and then proceeds to physically dissect the man for the next few minutes. Catching a lucky break, Rick gets away from Simon and makes the tag to Yob.
BL grabs Yob and hits the Antelope Gutter. Rick breaks up the count at 1. BL hits a second Antelope Gutter, picks Yob up and springboard dropkicks him to the outside. A cluster begins as all 4 wrestlers are attacking each other on the outside. BL rolls Yob and Rick into the ring, picks up a Sledgehammer and aims for Yob. Rick tries to pull BL off his partner and gets a sledgehammer in the face for his troubles. Rick rolls to the outside as Yob starts retailiating on BL. This doesn't last long however as BL hits his 3rd Antelope Gutter on Yob, only being able to get a 2 count before Yob kicks out. Yob flips up and delivers a spinning heel kick to BL's face, going for the pin and getting a 2 count.
BL manages to reach Simon to tag. Simon blocks Yob's attacks, hits the You Are Out, and before Rick can break up the pin, gets the 3 count.
Winner: Devastation via You Are Out - 24 min, 28 sec
Match #3 - J. M. Stryker vs Parachute McGilacuddy
In this match we got to see the resiliance of Stryker and the nastiness of Cuddy. Like most matches, this started with some back and forth, and a couple power moves. Things took a turn for the worse when the cocky Stryker decided to pull off what i call the 'Stryker Rolly Polly', humiliating Cuddy by rolling back and forth over him. Styker picked Cuddy up but was met with a series of open hand palm strikes to the face, before being thrown outside the ring by.
Cuddy picks up a florescent tube and cracks Stryker over the head with it. From this point, for the next 5 minutes, Cuddy utterly dominates the match. Stryker finally gets the upper hand and scoop slams Cuddy out of the ring, but instead of capatilizing, he decided to show off by posing. When Cuddy rolls back in the ring, Stryker drops an Emerald Fusion. Cuddy responds with a reverse gory bomb, but only manages to get a 2 count.
After some more fighting, Cuddy takes his revenge for the Stryker Rolly Polly by putting a spell on him. He whips Stryker into the ropes but Stryker reverses, going up top and delivering a huge senton. Stryker picks up Cuddy but gets punched in the gut. Cuddy hits the Run Run its Chavo (Run Run), and then hits the reverse gory bomb. 2 count. In frustration Cuddy hits the Run Run again, locking in a bow and arrow hold, but Stryker refuses to submit.
Stryker kicks Cuddy in the gut and hits the Emerald Fusion 09! Only a 2 count. Stryker throws Cuddy out of the ring and delivers a plancha suicide over the ropes. Stryker rolls Cuddy back in and hits the Emerald Fusion 09 again! 2 count. Emerald Fusion 09! 2 count. For the 3rd time in a row, Emerald Fusion 09! Stryker has overextended himself and is too tired to make the pin. Cuddy gets to his feet, walks over to Stryker and puts the Neihan submission on him. Stryker holds out for at least a minute until finally tapping.
Winner: Parachute McGilaCuddy via Neihan - 24 min, 44 sec
Match #4 - Booty Kall & TNT vs. Subby Phillips & Lord Xbox
This was the first time these two teams had formed. Subby, while being friends with Xbox, have never fought together, and Booty and TNT were paired together for this bout.
Booty and Subby started things off with some tests of strength and a few reversals. An amusing spot happened when Subby vertical suplexed Booty out of the ring. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in as Booty rolled out. Booty rolled in as Subby rolled out, then Subby rolled in to applause from the crowd.
Booty tagged TNT and they double teamed Subby. Subby makes it to Xbox and tags. Some back and forth before Xbox vertical suplexed TNT to the outside. A cluster ensued as all 4 were beating each other up on the outside. All 4 rolled in the ring, the ref restored order, and TNT tagged to Booty.
For the next 5 or so minutes Xbox was outsmarting Booty. I think Booty's anger got the better of him as he was making too many mistakes and paying for them. Finally Booty slams Xbox in the corner and delivers a Fisherman's Buster from the top rope! He picks Xbox up and its the BK Bomb! Only a 2.9. Booty picks Xbox up and pulls off a triple german suplex. He goes for the pin but Subby breaks up the count at 2.
Xbox tags to Subby and Subby grabs Booty, locking in the 'get out of this' submission. TNT dives in to break it up. Subby locks in a leg bar, again broken up by TNT. Booty hits the triple germans again but the pin in broken up by Xbox. Booty tags to TNT and TNT starts dominating Subby for a few minutes.
Subby pulls off a reversal on TNT, locking in an armbar. Booty breaks the hold and then starts beating up Subby. While TNT watches his partner, Xbox runs in and hits the 3 red rings on TNT sending him rolling to the outside, while Subby manages to put Booty in a submission. Booty breaks out and hits a running cross body, getting only a 2 count.
Booty tags to TNT and they double team Subby again. Subby manages to tag Xbox in and a cluster ensues as all 4 are beating each other in the ring. In the chaos, TNT rolls up Xbox and the ref dives to make the count. 1,2,3, it's over!
Winner: Booty Kall & TNT via roll up - 26 min, 17 sec
Match #5 - Bare Bear vs Mitchell
This match was full of controversy. To start with, Bear walks out to his entrance music, but for some unknown reason, Reginald Waters is accompanying him. Bear gets in the ring as Reggie stands outside the ring in his corner. Mitchell walks in, and looks at Reggie quizically. The bell rings and the match was underway.
Lots of trading blows but things started escalating when Bear grabbed a bat and cracked Mitchell in the back of the head. Obviously weakened, Bear whipped Mitchell into the barbed wire, and Mitchell was busted open at only 2 minutes into the match.
A little more brawling before Bear slams Mitchell with the golden left! He then locked in the Alpha hold but Mitchell refused to tap. Bear continues to dominate Mitchell, continually whipping him into the barbed wire and barraging him with palm strikes and neck chops. Mitchell gains an upper hand when he clocks Bear across the face with the bat, but it is short lived as Reggie throws Bear a barbed wire bat and Bear clocks Mitchell across the face with it in response.
As the brawl continued, Reggie started tinkering with the explosives outside the ring on the side Mitchell was on. Seeing its a death match, the ref couldn't stop him, plus had no idea what he was actually doing. When the explosives went off at 15 mins, it became clear. The explosion on Mitchell's side was much much larger, searing his skin and leaving him lifeless on the mat. Bear got up as the ref checked Mitchell. He was unconscious. Bear won the match.
Winner: Bare Bear via KO - 15 min
Main Event - Big Gordon vs Boomerang (Ultra Title Match)
The surprises continued in this match. The first few minutes were what we had come to expect of these two competitors. A lot of back and forth action with plenty of 1 counts. Niether able to get the upper hand.
At the 6 minute mark Gordon gained an upper hand when out of seemingly nowhere he picked Boomerang up and hit the Gordon Bomb. Boomerang managed to lift his shoulder at 2.9. A little more back and forth but then Gordon slammed Boomerang to the mat with the Volcanic Eruption. Boomerang went nowhere. 1,2,3, Gordon is your new Ultra Title champion!
Winner: Big Gordon via Volcanic Eruption - 7 min, 11 sec.
Wow, lots of surprises there, especially in the last 2 matches. Over the next week, we'll get some interviews with the wrestlers to explain some of what we saw here tonight. The new card will be put up here on the 6th of September. Hope you all had fun, and remember to return to Ultra Wrestle, it's where wrestling magic happens!
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